More Than It Seems

Learning

2011-12-12T00:01:00.002-05:00

I wish learning wasn't such a process. A slow, tedious process. I wish it came easier. I wish I didn't fight it as much.

I have this tendency to immediately assume the worst when there is a change in plans. I begin to list off all the reasons why I am justified in feeling upset with the change in plans and how it's not in my best interests. It's really all about me, isn't it?

Lately, I have been trying hard to change this attitude. To flex more, go with the flow, not be so insistent on doing everything my way. Have you ever tried to push a parked car? It feels a bit like that. I never really thought of myself as a stubborn person but it is a deeper problem than I realized. My mom probably laughed out loud just now.

The good news is that I am starting to recognize this more easily now. The bad news is that I still react the same way. So now, I am upset when things don't go my way and I am upset with myself for being upset. I know I will regret it later and yet, I still lick the wound and let myself feel the hurt or anger.

I think I am beginning to see glimmers of hope. Twice in the last week, I have recognized my incorrect attitude and apologized and realized what it cost me or almost cost me. I have admitted my self-centeredness and tried to see it from the other's point of view. I am really hoping that this becomes easier with time. Fighting with myself gets exhausting.

My beautiful family

2011-12-05T23:47:00.005-05:00

These are some of the photos taken by Wendi, of Ordinary Miracles Photography. She is crazy talented and I think they turned out amazing.

My family

My boys - very comfortable in front of the camera

My girls - unpredictable but still adorable

And then there is us. So thankful to be sharing this journey with him!

The same but different

2011-12-01T23:05:00.003-05:00

After writing about being thankful for things all month, I have come to a realization: being thankful and being content are two different ideas. They seem to be the same thing. You would think that if a person was thankful for what she had, she would also be content. But they're not exactly the same.

Being content seems to be a bit more of a process. It's like going the next step. It's saying, "Thank you for what I have." and also, "I don't want anything else."

I'm doing a lot better with the first area. I need a lot of work in the second. Because I do want more. I feel like Sally from "A Charlie Brown Christmas" when she says, "All I want is what I . . . I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share." I am thankful for what I have but at the same time, I want more and bigger and better. And often, I start to mistakenly think that I deserve more, that it's my fair share.

Maybe this month needs to be a month focused on contentment. To truly be thankful and not ask for anything else in return. To honestly mean, as Paul said in 1 Timothy 6:8, "But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that." Maybe I just need to read that every day for a month and see if it can start to take root in my heart. Get rid of Sally and listen to Paul more. That's a pretty good goal for December.

Day 30

2011-11-30T21:33:00.003-05:00

Wednesday

Ta-da! The last day in November. This has been a really good exercise for me. I have found myself thinking through the day about things I am thankful for and how blessed I am.

Today, on this last day of giving thanks (blogging about it anyways), I am thankful for a snow day.

We usually don't benefit from snow days because we're home anyways. No matter what the weather, we can get our school work done. But today was Wednesday and we had Pioneers, our homeschool co-op. But it was canceled! Suddenly we had an extra day at home in front of us.

And I started thinking about how we could do our normal school work and get ahead. But then I read some friends posts on facebook about playing in the snow and I remembered how exciting it was when I was a kid to have an unexpected break in the middle of the week. So I told the kids, "No school today." And their smiles lit up their faces.

They hurried to get their snow gear on and rushed outside. They came in to have hot chocolate at one point and I said, "Go ahead and play video games or watch tv if you want for awhile." And they were flabbergasted. That is not usually allowed until 3:30 around here, even on Saturday. And they happily played (okay, just a couple fights) until lunch and then they went back outside again.

And I enjoyed being a mom and not a teacher today. I cleaned and read and went outside with them and appreciated the snow. It was a beautiful day.

Day 29

2011-11-30T21:29:00.003-05:00

Tuesday

Thankful for:

- my last physical therapy appointment! I am so grateful that they were able to correctly diagnose what was causing me pain and correct that and show me how to keep it from happening again but I'm also very glad to be done.

- coloring with my kids. All of us, sitting at the dining room table, with colored pencils and crayons spread out. I still haven't outgrown my love for coloring.

- a warm house that keeps us dry, especially when the weather is less than pleasant. Cold, rainy and windy - I'll just stay inside curled up with a book and take a nap. So thankful for those simple pleasures.

Day 28

2011-11-30T21:03:00.002-05:00

Monday

Today I am thankful for a routine. I love having days off but it's only because of our regular routine that I can truly appreciate the break.

I'm thankful for a doctor who quickly diagnosed some stomach pains that Brendan has been having and had an answer and a solution. He has been having some recurring nausea and occasional vomiting for the past 6 months and this last weekend it was worse and he was not eating much at all. It was good to put a name to it - gastritis - and to know that it will most likely be better after a few weeks on a strong antacid.

I'm thankful I switched the kids from their pediatrician to our family doctor this summer. I have not regretted that decision at all. What used to take about 3 hours now takes 45 minutes and that has been huge to me. I still don't call the doctor unless necessary but I don't dread it like I used to.

Day 27

2011-11-30T20:57:00.002-05:00

Sunday

Thankful for:

- a calm day in the nursery. We have had some doozies so I do not take this lightly.

- getting to work in the nursery with good friends - lots of laughs and lots of help.

- the chance to get to know a young lady from church and talking for almost 2 hours about how to be a wise woman in God's eyes and also what kind of music we like. Could have easily talked longer. Very thankful for this opportunity.

- putting up our Christmas tree and decorations and watching the kids put up ornaments. I only moved a few, honest. Not only are they so pretty to look at, but it makes the season less stressful knowing that part is done and not having to find a time to do that. Now I'm in the mood for making Christmas cookies and snow and planning other fun events.

Day 26

2011-11-30T20:55:00.003-05:00

Saturday

Thank you, Lord, for:

- shopping for bargains with my mom and sister. I like to go shopping, I really like finding good deals and I love shopping with others! It was a good morning. :)

- watching a Christmas movie in the afternoon while occasionally drifting off to sleep.

- sleeping in my own bed. I sleep fine at my mom's house but I guess it just fits me better.

Day 25

2011-11-30T20:25:00.002-05:00

Friday

- getting to see a movie with my sister and sister-in-law. The 3 of us have never gone out before and we had a lot of fun. I hope we get to do it more often.

- eating pretty much all day

- knowing I still have one more day with my family before saying good-bye

So thankful for all these blessings!

Day 24

2011-11-30T20:17:00.002-05:00

Thursday - the actual day of Thanksgiving

So thankful today for:

- cousins that love to play together

- happy noises like laughter and squeals. Still can cause a headache but I will choose that over crying and fighting any day.

- children old enough to play on their own and can handle missing a nap. Also thankful they still like to take a nap on most days.

- spending quality time with Josh, my brother and his wife at 11:30 at night waiting to get into Target. I'm not a die-hard Black Friday shopper but I liked the idea of going late at night instead of early in the morning. I'm a night owl anyways! My brother, Tony, and his wife, Ashley, are night owls, too, so we kept Josh awake.

Day 23

2011-11-30T20:13:00.002-05:00

Wednesday

Thank you, Lord, for

- the smell of cranberry bread baking

- packing up to visit family for a long weekend

- one of my favorite restaurants finally coming to Jackson and getting to eat there - hello, Qdoba!

- finishing a week of school in 3 days, which means we can take off some days in the future just because

Day 22

2011-11-24T21:39:00.002-05:00

Tuesday

Today I am thankful for the gray skies and the drizzly rain. We finished school, the house was clean and I had time to read for a little bit and take a short nap. What could be better on a dreary day?

Also thankful for the chance to get out and do some shopping with a friend. I wasn't sure it was going to work and was prepared to shop by myself but it did work out and it was great to chat and bounce ideas off her and cross things off my shopping list.

Thankful to come home to sink full of clean dishes with the children all snuggled in bed.

Thankful for a holiday weekend soon approaching.

Day 21

2011-11-24T21:26:00.002-05:00

Monday

Today I am thankful for a dear aunt who drove over 2 hours to walk through my house and offer some creative insight. My home is somewhat challenging. Our family fits but the lay-out is awkward and I wanted some ideas to make it look more appealing. We are hoping to list our house with a realtor this coming spring and I want to do whatever possible to draw in a buyer. My aunt is not a professional but I have seen her house and her work in my uncle's cabins up north and she is good at thinking outside the box. (This visit may have been the reason for my cleaning frenzy the previous day.)

She had so many ideas I could barely keep up with all of them. It was great to get a vision of how the house could look and how we could show off its advantages while downplaying the negatives. It was also great to know that we had a few months to work on those ideas. I am not excited about listing our house and having to keep it ready for showings. Not excited at all. But the thought of being able to buy a house with 2 bathrooms (3 would be preferred) and bedrooms that I can walk in without bumping my head on the ceiling overshadows any hesitations I have.

So thankful for those who can see things that I can't and who care enough to drive many hours to share this vision with me. Thank you, Aunt Linda!

Day 20

2011-11-24T21:15:00.006-05:00

Sunday

I got a bit behind but that's okay - I will persevere. I will finish this task that I have begun. Not that it's hard to think of things to be thankful for - I can do that just about any minute of the day. But to take time to write them down and post them on here - that is the part that isn't easy. And I'm realizing that's true in my relationship with God, too. I can spout of things that I'm thankful for with no problems. But to actually take time and talk to God about it? To say more than a quick second prayer but to really take time to reflect and read the Bible and ponder what He's all about? A constant struggle. The contenders for my attention are not my children or my husband, although I am happy to give them my attention. The things that get in the way are books that I'd rather read instead, shows and movies that I'd rather watch, a warm, comfy bed that I'd rather lay in with my eyes closed. (I have, at times, attempted to lay in bed and close my eyes to pray but that never works out. And yet, I keep trying. )

So, today I am thankful for a spurt of energy that involved moving several storage tubs out to the garage. Including one that had been sitting in our office for a couple months. I am so good at starting projects and so very bad at finishing them. But today I finished several. And it felt so good. I love walking through the house and not tripping over things. Rachel went down to the emptied out basement and exclaimed, "Thank you, mommy, for taking out the play kitchen so I could push my baby stroller down here!" And silly me thought she'd be upset about not having the play kitchen. I didn't know it was in her way.

Also thankful for a husband who gladly carried the storage tubs out to the garage after I nicely put them in a big pile in the basement for him. Sometimes we really work well together. I can go through the stuff in the house and decide if we're keeping it and where to put it and he can take care of the piles after I've gone through them.

It was not necessarily a relaxing Sunday and yet I felt much more relaxed that evening than the afternoons where I've had a two hour nap. Thankful for that peace.

Day 19

2011-11-19T23:46:00.002-05:00

Saturday

Today was not an easy day to feel thankful. It felt somewhat forced at first. I hate admitting that because I know I have so much to be thankful for. My day just did not go as I hoped it would. I am disappointed in myself for not getting things done. My to-do list seems very overwhelming right now. It's almost causing a bit of a panic attack when I think about all the things I need to get done and try to figure out when it will happen.

In the midst of this day that caused me to feel not-so-great, we had our family pictures taken by a friend from church, Wendi, who is part of Ordinary Miracles Photography. I saw some of the photos tonight and love them. I really looked at my kids and saw them for who they are. I like who they are. They are not perfect, I know that very well, and I love them in spite of their imperfections but I also like them. I am thankful for these photos, these captured moments. I will remember, when I look at Brendan's picture, how I thought it almost looked like a senior picture and how that feels too close for comfort some days. Tori's picture will remind me of how comfortable she is in her own skin - and I hope that lasts, although I fear the days of self-criticism will be here before too long. I will remember, when I see Rachel's shy smile, that this was the age when she was very attached to me and would run to give me a hug after each shot. (Is it okay that I hope she outgrows this? It'd be kind of awkward if she didn't.) And Owen's impish smile will remind me that this was the night we saw his model potential. He was so funny -he'd be running all over or climbing up stairs and as soon as he saw the camera on him, he'd stop and position his body just so and smile.

Sometimes the thankfulness might not come naturally and it might feel forced but I think it's okay to force it. I think that forcing it once in awhile will eventually create a habit of thankfulness. That is my hope anyways.

So much to be thankful for. (And I'll post those pics as soon as I get the cd.)

Day 18

2011-11-19T23:34:00.002-05:00

Friday

It's Friday - need I say more? Yay for Fridays! This Friday, I am thankful for our small group. We just started meeting a couple months ago with two other couples. It's not always easy to find times to meet and we've only met 5 times so far but I have really appreciated those evenings. It's been good to read the Bible together and try to figure out what it means to follow God. It's been good to laugh together and share what has been going on in our lives. It's been good for this introvert to be able to share what I think. Definitely thankful for our small group!

Day 17

2011-11-17T21:08:00.002-05:00

Thursday

Sometimes it's good to just have a day at home. Just to focus on our school work and house work. Today was a day like that. And it was lovely. There were snowflakes lightly falling outside and the kids were really focused on their work. I'm thankful for a day when things go smoothly. When lessons are finished and housework is accomplished and there is still time for a break in the middle of the day. So, so thankful for today.

Day 16

2011-11-17T20:59:00.002-05:00

Wednesday

Thankful for a husband who makes popcorn just about every night and the chance to sit and enjoy it while the kids are sleeping! I love savoring the snack and drinking a cold mountain dew, knowing all my responsibilities for the day are done. It's a really great way to end a busy day. And a not-so-busy day. We love our popcorn around here.

Day 15

2011-11-15T22:55:00.002-05:00

Tuesday

Today, I am grateful for my 4 beautiful children. Brendan is working on an assignment for his art class at Pioneers and needed pictures of our family. I found a tub of pictures from a few years ago that I had printed to put in scrapbooks (so far behind on these, I don't even want to think about it) and Tori, Brendan and I sat on my bed and looked through them. Rachel and Owen were about 1 1/2 and at such a cute age. Brendan and Tori were 6 and 8 and looked so much more childlike. I am thankful for the memories I captured on film and at the same time, a little saddened to see how much has changed in what feels like such a short time. I'm thankful that my kids like spending time with their family and I pray that it will stay that way.

Day 14

2011-11-15T22:49:00.002-05:00

Monday

Today, I'm thankful for the chance to run! I have taken about a month off due to some hip pain. I've been seeing a physical therapist and then last week met with a sports trainer. He could see that my form was not great and was causing the problems so I met with him again today to work on that. It was not easy -lots of little things to remember - but it was so good to breathe hard and feel my leg muscles working again. I have been given the green light to start running on my own after one more session with him. So thankful for that.

Day 13

2011-11-15T22:38:00.002-05:00

This Sunday, I'm thankful for:

- a day of sleeping in. Much appreciated after staying up way too late two nights in a row.

- a fairly uneventful trip home. I accidentally started heading back into town, thanks to my unreliable Garmin, but after a timely call from my sister, I turned back around and headed the right direction.

- a warm greeting when I arrived home. Lots of hugs and squeezes.

- hearing stories about the fun they had with their dad. I love hearing that.

Day 12

2011-11-15T22:29:00.002-05:00

Thankful this Saturday for:

- hearing a great speaker who shared some important truths. Truths that really sunk in. Truths about attitude and how I can choose everyday how I will respond to my circumstances. Truths about lies that I choose to believe and how I can recognize those and choose to not believe those anymore.

- coffee and creamer. Sometimes it's the little things. :)

- a shopping trip and then another movie with my sister. I love spending time with her.

Day 11

2011-11-15T22:18:00.002-05:00

Friday

I am thankful for a 3 hour road trip by myself. I love driving by myself - the chance to sing as loud as I want and listen to whatever I want to with no interruptions.

I'm thankful for a fun night with my sister. Going to a women's conference at her church for a couple hours and then staying up late and talking and watching a favorite movie together.

I'm thankful for a husband who never, not once, has made me feel guilty for leaving him with the kids and doesn't try to keep it even.

I'm thankful for the break of a weekend and the routine during the week.

Day 10

2011-11-15T22:07:00.002-05:00

Thursday - I'm thankful for Owen and his love for the drums.
Oh, how I love to listen to him play the drums.
I love to go down to the basement and get an impromptu concert from him while I do laundry.
I love watching drummers on you tube with him and then hearing him play bits and pieces of their set.
I love how he disappears down there when we have company over and just starts playing.

Day 9

2011-11-09T22:52:00.002-05:00

Day 9 - Wednesday

Today the list seems long.

~peeks of sunshine among strong gusts of wind.

~watching leaves falling and swirling down the street.

~the smell of chicken teriyaki, rice and broccoli cooking for supper.

~the kids I work with on Wednesday nights at Awana. Even if their parents just drop them off for a date night, I'm still thankful they are there. This has taken me a few years to get this attitude. I love singing the kid songs, listening to the Bible stories and hearing the simple truths over and over, and working with them on their verses. I like calming down the rambunctious ones and getting the shy ones to feel more comfortable.

~a pantry and refrigerator full of food and nothing planned for tomorrow. Maybe some baking? Maybe some organizing? Definitely some reading.

~ a slower paced day for school work. Much needed and much appreciated after a busy Wednesday.

Days 7 and 8

2011-11-08T22:07:00.002-05:00

I'm just going to start jumping right in - no explanation needed anymore.

Day 7 - Monday
I'm thankful for
- library day. Last year, our trips to the library were sporadic. This year, I decided to make Monday our library day. Every Monday after lunch, we head to the library. Now we can check out things that are due by the next week without worrying too much about making sure they get returned. As long as we don't forget to take them back. :) The kids like knowing they can get new books every week, too.
-family movie night. We rented Nanny McPhee from the library and enjoyed watching it together with popcorn and some Halloween candy. While we were eating supper, the kids asked if they could watch it and at first I was going to say no because I had gotten it for this weekend but then I realized we had nothing going on so why not?

Day 8 - Tuesday
I'm thankful for
-Rachel's laugh. She got the giggles during supper and I started laughing, just watching her laugh.
- Tori's sense of humor. She snickered at something Brendan said and then imitated him perfectly. We all laughed for several minutes - which I think is what started Rachel's giggle-fest. I love laughing with my family.

Days 4,5, and 6

2011-11-08T21:56:00.003-05:00

I think this would be more meaningful if I thought of things to be thankful for on the actual day. It's usually easier to look back and see what you have to be thankful but it's harder when you're in the middle of a long day.

At any rate, here are just a few of my blessings from last week:
Day 4 - Friday
I'm thankful for
- finishing another week of school with the kids! I enjoy so many things about homeschooling but it still feels like a struggle sometimes to get the work done.
- Our children's pastor and his wife and the activities they do for our kids. Brendan and Josh went to a party Friday night so the other 3 kids and I had a movie night.

Day 5 - Saturday
I'm thankful for
- a husband who does the yard work without complaining.
- a son who willingly helps him.
- a neighbor who lets us use his riding lawn mower with a leaf bagger attachment.
- a sunny Saturday perfect for getting leaves picked up.

Day 6 - Sunday
I'm thankful for
- a Sunday School class with young people who like to laugh and learn.
- getting projects done around the house. Have you seen the cubicals at Target with the fabric bins? Love them! I keep thinking of uses for them all over the house. Josh is getting very good at putting these together.

Almost caught up! Just two more to go.

Jumping on the bandwagon

2011-11-06T23:46:00.003-05:00

Many people I know are doing this thing where they come up with something to be thankful for every day this month. I resisted at first, because I get this attitude about things like this. Not that I didn't think this was a good exercise, but if I feel like everyone is doing something, I tend to not want to do that. Yes, there are exceptions, glaringly obvious ones, like certain movies I get interested in, but if we start to analyze my behavior, we'll be here all night.

So, back to the point - writing down something every day that you're thankful for. I'm about a week late but I decided tonight it would be good for me to do this. I am having trouble, at times, remembering how truly blessed I am and tonight, while I was reading what some others wrote about being thankful, I felt a strong urge to do this. I decided to do 2 or 3 days at a time until I catch up.

Day 1 - Tuesday
I'm thankful for
- a physical therapist who could correctly diagnose my hip pain and get me on the road to recovery.
- an evening at home with my family.
- a son who works really hard to get caught up with school work that he missed while we were on vacation.

Day 2 - Wednesday
I'm thankful for
- a group of homeschoolers who created a co-op to give homeschool kids some new experiences and to help homeschool parents. I love going to Pioneers once a week and hear about all the interesting things my kids are doing there.
- being able to stay home with my kids every other day of the week. I love Wednesdays but they make me love the rest of the days even more.

Day 3 - Thursday
- the chance to get out with good friends who listen to my long, ridiculous, stories that really have no point and still love me. They make me laugh. They encourage me and help me be the best me possible. They give honest feedback and ask hard questions. And, they work hard to make time to see me. That feeds my soul in an incredible way.

Sometimes it's a really good thing to join the crowd every once in awhile.

A Girl and Her Pony

2011-11-01T22:37:00.003-04:00

Tori with Penelope

For several years now, Tori has talked about wanting to learn to ride a horse. We talked about it but weren't exactly sure what to do to get started. What if she didn't like it? How much would we have to buy at the beginning? When would we have time? She was in dance or gymnastics (both one year) and also playing basketball, Brendan was playing football, basketball and baseball, Josh was teaching a class one night a week at the community college, and I needed some time away once in awhile. So we put it off.

Then, last spring a friend emailed me about a homeschool horseback riding club that one of the stables in Jackson was offering. The owner was a homeschool mom and wanted to give kids a 6-week introduction to horseback riding. It was 2 hours in the afternoons for 6 weeks and they would ride for an hour every other week and then do activities and learn the basics of horses and how to care for them for the other hour. It sounded perfect. There was nothing to buy - all equipment could be borrowed. The rate was extremely reasonable. The only catch was, we were really busy during spring. I called anyways. The club was booked already but there was a waiting list and possibly a fall club - were we interested? Yes, yes, yes!

Tori started on Tuesday, September 20th. She went into the barn to learn about horses for an hour while I waited in the van. Then she came outside with a big grin on her face, leading a pony named Penelope. I sent Josh a text saying, "I think we're in trouble." She loved it. Absolutely loved it.

Her 6-week club is now over but her riding lessons are not. She will be continuing lessons at Stepping Stones farm. I'm thankful we had the opportunity to "try them out" first before making a huge commitment and also thankful Tori found something she loves to do.

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-01T22:27:00.003-04:00

Raggedy Ann, Raggedy Andy, Butterfly, Football Player

After a wardrobe malfunction (tights that refused to stay up), the Butterfly morphed into a Pirate. And the Pirate complained much less than the Butterfly and all were happy with this transformation. Raggedy Andy had fun but felt a little silly at times and decided that next year, he would be a Football Player. Costumes courtesy of Grandma Judy - except the Football Player.

Meal update

2011-11-01T22:18:00.002-04:00

I have mixed reactions about the freezer meal system. There were some that we really enjoyed - the herbed chicken, the chicken nuggets, and the french baked potatoes. There were other meals that have yet to be eaten because they just don't appeal to me - the black bean dinner, mexican chicken lasagna and country captain (chicken with tomatoes and raisins). Then there were some that were okay but not anything I'd make again - the playoff burgers, sopa de maize, and roast. And there was also a meal that was quite time consuming for being a freezer meal - the poppy beef. There were two packages that had to be thawed - the beef mixture and the sauce mixture. Then you had to cook pasta, mix with the sauce, spread the beef in a casserole dish, put the pasta and sauce on top and bake for 30 min! And then I didn't care for it all that much.

I have bought a couple more freezer meal cookbooks and I think it's something I still want to do but definitely not the way I did it this time. I will pick meals that sound really good or ones we've already tried and put together my own list. More work, yes, but my freezer will be less scary to me. :) I think 14 meals is a good amount for a month for us. I also enjoy having bags of cooked chicken and ground beef in the freezer so it's easy to put together tacos, sloppy joes, enchiladas, quesadillas or many other casserole dishes. That also gives me freedom to pick something that sounds good or try something new once in awhile.

I'm hoping to use up a couple more of the leftover freezer meals this week but really not sure when I will have the courage to have the black beans or country captain. I guess as long as I have lots of side dishes, it should be okay, right?

October meal plan

2011-10-02T21:19:00.002-04:00

The challenge - to plan a month's worth of meals and to have most of these meals in the freezer ready to go.

Background - I bought a book a couple months ago called "Once-A-Month Cooking". The premise is that you plan a month's worth of meals and then buy all the ingredients and get the meals ready and put them in the freezer - all of this in 1-2 days. Then the rest of the month, all you have to do is thaw the meal for that day and warm it up. It sounded great in theory but I was having trouble setting aside two days to do this and planning that many meals that far ahead. Plus, some of the meals looked strange.

A friend sent out an email that she was going to do this for another friend because of some health issues the family was going through and invited others to help her. I went over to help cut and cook chicken and we talked about the whole idea. She said that she had done it before but instead of doing it all in one day, she did a few meals every night. That seemed more reasonable.

I went home and looked through my cookbook again and found a 2-week plan that I liked. I decided October would be a great month to try it because the kids would be gone one weekend (I generally do very little cooking when they're gone) and then we'd be gone on vacation for 8 days, leaving about 20 days to cook meals. If I did 14 meals in the freezer, that would still leave 7 meals open for eating out or our favorites. I wrote out the meals ideas (in pencil) for the month and copied off the grocery list. It was a bit pricey - I had to buy about 6 spices that I didn't have on hand. It will be interesting at the end of the month to see how my spending compares to the month before.

I started putting the meals together tonight and have the following done:
Chicken Taco Salad
Mexican Chicken Lasagna
Sopa de Maiz
Chicken Nuggets
Herbed Chicken
Country Captain (this one looks strange to me - chicken in a stewed tomato sauce with raisins)
Winter Pot Roast
Farmer's Casserole

Tomorrow I will do the rest:
Denise's Black Beans
Poppy Beef
Playoff Burgers
French Stuffed Potatoes
London Broil
Spaghetti Soup

I will let you know how the meals taste and if this whole experiment was worth it at the end!

13.1 miles, anyone? Part 3

2011-09-28T22:56:00.004-04:00

**** You can read part 1 here and part 2 here******

The day of the race: The race was on a Saturday morning. I was pretty nervous but was ready to get it over with. Josh had decided to run it with me for moral support. He hadn't been training but he was consistently running 4 miles several times a week at a much faster pace than me and had also been running 8 miles once a week. We had our ipod shuffles loaded with songs to keep us going. We had our energy bars and coffee for breakfast and lots of water. We had our energy gummy chews for mid-way through the race. We were ready.

We got to the race and signed in and got our shirts. Our extremely bright, neon green shirt. Hmm, so much for wearing that around to proudly proclaim I ran a half marathon! We looked at the map of the course and then waited around for the start. I hate the waiting. The nervous excitement, wondering if I should try and go to the bathroom again, I just hate it. We finally started and it was going good. I was running the pace I wanted to run. It was a bit crowded at first because there were 3 races going on - a 5k, 10k, and half marathon and all of us had started at the same time. At some point, the 5k runners turned around and went back. I inwardly scoffed at how little they had to run and how great I still felt. Then the 10k runners turned back and I was a little envious but still feeling pretty good.

The course was a bit confusing but there were people standing there, pointing out the direction we should go. Sometimes there would be arrows on the ground and we assumed those were for us. There weren't many runners after the 10k group turned around. We stayed just behind one runner for quite awhile and passed some others when we would loop around the course. We were never in a big pack after the first few minutes. I thought it was nice not having other runners to worry about but later I began to re-think that.

Josh was having no trouble keeping up with me. It was a bit annoying at times. I ran out of things to talk about and he's never really been one for small talk so he decided to listen to his shuffle. I never really knew this about him until that day but he's really loud when he has headphones in. He tried to tell me what song he was listening to but he was shouting it. Then he even started singing along.

Right around mile 9, I started dragging. I didn't want to do it anymore. We were all by ourselves. I was tired. Josh made the comment, "Huh, it looks like the it's a gradual increase along here." I told him that was NOT helpful. Then he walked beside me. I had slowed down so much that he could walk next to me while I was jogging. This was a tad discouraging, too. He tried to rally my spirits but for some reason, it had the opposite effect on me. I even stopped running and walked for a bit.

That was the opposite of how I wanted the race to go. After a couple minutes of walking, I decided to turn on my shuffle. I'm not sure why I didn't turn it on sooner. I guess I just didn't want to mess with it and wanted to stay focused. It helped immediately though. I heard the music and started jogging again and was focused on finishing. We headed back into the woods that we had gone through at the beginning of the course but this time, there were no helpful people pointing us in the right direction. There was one runner ahead of us that we followed for awhile and then passed him. After we passed him, there was a fork in the trail, and we took the one less traveled, which was the wrong one. Or maybe we took the one more traveled - either way, it was wrong. We had to backtrack a little bit to get on the right trail and I was discouraged.

I started walking again and then we saw the finish. Right there! It was so close! We could see the flags! And then Josh pointed out we had to go all the way around the parking lot and I wanted to stop. It just felt too cruel. We still had to run a half mile, which seemed so much farther, when we could see the finish line!

Josh had his GPS watch on and said that we would technically finish 13.1 miles before the finish line so I told him to stop the watch when it said 13.1 because I wanted to know the real time, counting our extra distance for backtracking because of a poorly marked course. It still wasn't a great time. 2:21.30, which averages out to about 10:45 a mile. It's certainly not bad for someone who ran a 5k (3.1 miles) 2 years ago and did that at an 11:00 minute mile pace. But I had been training at a 10:00 minute mile pace and was hoping to do around there or better. So my first thoughts when I finished weren't full of pride and accomplishment. I was unhappy with my time and upset that I had walked. It wasn't the race I wanted to run. I said afterwards that it was just too long of a race for me.

We went to get a drink but all the water and food were gone. Another major disappointment. So we drank the water we had brought ourselves and then went through a drive-thru to get a chocolate milk. We came home and a friend called me to see how it went. I told her my time and that I had walked part way and wasn't super happy about it and didn't plan to run another race that long. She was very encouraging, reminding me of how far I'd come in a short amount of time, and said she wouldn't be surprised if I changed my mind within the week. I took a shower and realized that I wasn't that sore. I didn't actually feel too bad. I JUST RAN 13.1 MILES AND FELT OKAY! And that's when I realized, I was going to run a half marathon again sometime. I was going to run one that was better marked and better attended so I was never wondering which way to turn. I would turn my music on sooner this time. I would know what to expect and would train harder and I would run it faster. Because I am a runner!

5 things I learned at jury duty

2011-08-30T21:22:00.005-04:00

1. Don't wear a belt. Because then when the security alarm goes off, you have to take off the belt and walk back thru. And then put the belt back on. And then you feel like you're getting dressed in the courthouse, which isn't really a good thing.

2. People will clip their nails in the courtroom. I find this both disrespectful and kind of gross so I wouldn't recommend it. Besides, how did those make it past security? But there was a prospective juror clipping her nails in the courtroom. Eww.

3. Real lawyers aren't like tv lawyers. Some talk just like me! I guess I expected them to talk like they were reading off a great script (or an average script) but they weren't all that eloquent. And some look like a kid playing dress-up. Or maybe that's because I'm getting older.

4. There are a lot of messed up people out there. And I'm not just talking about the ones on trial. I'm talking about the jurors and the experiences they talked about that were related to the trial. I have had a cushy life and it's good to be reminded of that and to not take it for granted.

5. Jury duty isn't as scary as you think. It is something I have been dreading because I would have to go by myself and had no idea what to expect but they explained everything thoroughly and I began to really get interested in the court proceedings and watching the lawyers decide who to let go and what questions to ask. It's fascinating for someone who likes to analyze human behavior. Then they would dismiss someone and a new name would be selected and I'd start sweating a bit, wondering if it'd be me and what they would ask me. But my name was never selected and both sides were happy with their jury so I was home in time for lunch.

I remember my dad taking me to the courthouse when I was younger - 5th grade, I think? - just to see a trial. The judge was funny and kind of sarcastic, very matter of fact. I was remembering that experience today and how much more interesting it is to actually be there instead of just reading about it. You begin to understand the implications of the whole court process and that it affects real people. It's definitely something I want to do with our kids. One more field trip to add to the list for our school year.

Our summer

2011-08-23T22:23:00.003-04:00

Tori rides the Huckleberry Railroad with Shelby

Rachel and Seth with Owen and Josh behind them

Brendan gets to drive Uncle C.R.'s tractor at Pines of Paradise

Brendan was asked to play on the all-star baseball team for the tournament. I won't lie, that was pretty cool. They lost the 1st game, won the 2nd and then lost the 3rd.

Blake, Brendan and Travis on the train

Rachel and Owen ham it up for the camera

Tori also gets to drive Uncle C. R.'s tractor at the resort! He is a brave, brave man.

We spent a week at Pines of Paradise in Carp Lake, MI, and had a wonderful time with family. Even though it was crazy hot (northern Michigan should not be that hot - ever!) and the mosquitoes were out in full force (my new favorite t-shirt came from up there and it says "Vampire of the North" with a picture of a mosquito on it), we had a great time boating, swimming, jumping in some crazy waves in Lake Michigan and getting to know our family again. I love seeing my kids running off with my cousins kids and knowing they're making memories of their own to exchange at future reunions.

Later in July, we borrowed a camper from our friends and camped with Josh's family at a really nice campground in Otisville. It's a small town close to Mt. Morris, which was hosting the Warrior Dash this summer. The Warrior Dash is a 5k race with obstacles - just little things like running over tires and old cars, through a mud bog, climbing a ridiculously high rope wall, and jumping over fire. You know, no big deal. Josh and his brother Jake thought it sounded like *fun* (this is why I am generally skeptical whenever Josh has a suggestion of something *fun* to do - I also am skeptical if he says something is not spicy - there are certain things we will always disagree on). I will give them this - the race was fun to watch! The campground was great - nice biking trails, a small, shallow lake for the kids to play, lots of shade, and some chiggers to bite our ankles and make us scratch like crazy. Ahh, camping. :) We also discovered that the campground was only 15 minutes from Birch Run! That made up for the crazy chiggers. And we discovered a new bar and grill that had just opened and they weren't scared off at all when we walked in and said there was 18 of us and more than half were kids. I believe the name of it was Otie's. Best BLT pizza I've ever had!

Okay, that is a brief update on what we've been up to. Other big news this summer - my little baby brother got married! It's hard to believe he's that old. Their wedding was beautiful. It was neat to see Brendan as a junior groomsman and remember my brother as the junior groomsman at my wedding. I have one very big regret - I didn't make sure my camera battery was charged and it died Saturday morning with no spare and no charger with me. I'm looking forward to seeing the pictures that others took and hoping to get some copies from them. The best part of the day - watching Rachel dance on the boogie bus we rode after the wedding to the reception! It was so out of character for her. She was a dancing machine and didn't care who was watching. It was a special weekend for all of us.

And now, we're starting our school year! But that will be another post.

The best view

2011-07-10T00:15:00.004-04:00

I loved my view of the parade - watching these 4. :) They were mostly watching to see who was throwing candy. A certain young girl was on the look-out for horses and one little guy kept an eye on the tractors. But mostly, it was the hope of candy.

Learning to ride a bike

2011-07-09T23:53:00.003-04:00

Here is a short clip of Owen riding his bike. He learned how to ride all by himself this week! Lots of milestones this summer - Rachel learned how to swing by herself but I don't have a video of that yet.

Birthday cakes made easy

2011-06-02T23:18:00.004-04:00

I love the fancy birthday cakes. And there are some truly talented and artistic people out there who can make the cutest cakes. But that just isn't a talent of mine. I hate even frosting a cake. Every year, I'd try to make my kids a special birthday cake and just get frustrated with the simplest designs. This year I stumbled across something that changed all of that. Edible icing images.

Rachel with her Dora cake

Owen had requested a John Deere cake for his birthday. I was looking for cake decorations that I could place on top, maybe even cute cupcake decorators, so I searched on ebay for "John Deere cake decorations". Up popped some edible icing images. These are pictures printed on special sheets of thin icing with edible ink. They were really cute and you could personalize them. How fun! But would they be easy to put on? I googled it and found that you just have to frost the cake and use a lot of white frosting (the secret to easily frosting a cake is to use lots of frosting so the cake doesn't peel up and to do it when the kids are in bed or outside). Then you peel the image from the wax paper and gently place it on the cake and lightly press down. The image absorbs into the frosting and becomes the top layer of cake.

Owen's John Deere cake

I was so excited! There were so many pictures to choose from. Rachel wanted Dora and Owen wanted John Deere. No, a drum set. No, John Deere. I waited until he knew for sure what he wanted and then ordered them. I found out they really should be ordered more than 2 weeks ahead of time because that was cutting it close - they actually arrived the morning of the party and I had already purchased some other edible icing images from a local place that I didn't like as well and they weren't personalized so I scraped those off and put the other ones on. Lesson learned- order about a month ahead of time just so you don't have to worry.

Tori's Taylor Swift cake

Tori picked Taylor Swift (kind of strange cutting a cake and hearing - "I want her hair!") and Brendan picked the Detroit Lions. They looked delightful and were fabulously easy and inexpensive. My children thought they were the best cakes ever. And I have to agree. Whoever came up with this idea is a genius.

Brendan's Detroit Lions cake

13.1 miles, anyone? part 2

2011-06-02T22:49:00.002-04:00

After getting back into running and then not running for a few months, I "overheard" a facebook conversation between a couple of friends talking about getting together to run. It was during the kids choir practice time at our church. One of my kids was going to that choir practice and I had planned on taking her there and was hoping to be able to leave the others at home with Josh and maybe read or visit with some other parents. My first thought, when seeing their conversation, was "No way would I be able to ever keep up with them." I started thinking more about it and decided to ask if I could meet with them and figured if I couldn't go that fast, I could go at my own speed and at least I'd be running again. I added a comment to their message and they immediately encouraged me to come with them.

It was tough. I couldn't talk the entire time. We were running for 5 minutes and then walking for one. After 3 intervals, I had to walk an extra 5 minutes. I ran another interval with them and then decided to head back. Another friend said she was done, too, and ran back with me, encouraging me to keep up my pace and finish strong. I was exhausted and completely out of breath but was motivated - I wanted to get better and be able to keep up with them. I envied their conversations and the ease with which they ran. They said they'd run every week when the kids had choir practice and I decided I'd be with them.

I also decided I'd start running during the week. Suddenly, it was important to me now. I had a goal - to keep up with those girls - and I was motivated. I got up early sometimes, I ran at 8:30 at night if I had to, I ran during nap time. My regular speed on the treadmill was 5 mph, or a 12 min. mile pace. My goal was to get to 6 mph, or a 10 min. mile pace. I started setting it at 5.2 or 5.3 and by January, I was running at 6. Then I started going farther. I'd finish 5 miles and still feel great. I had never gone more than 3 miles on the treadmill before. The next week I did 6. The next, 7. I felt unstoppable. Powerful.

A friend asked me about running a half marathon. That seemed a bit excessive. 13.1 miles? All at once? I was excited about running 5ks this summer now that I was in shape but I didn't know about that long of a distance. I started to wonder if I could do it and felt a little excited by the possibility. That's when I realized I really did want to run a half-marathon. I wanted to be able to say that I trained for something and completed it. So towards the end of February, I made the commitment to run a half marathon. I had run 8 miles at this point.

My friend was planning to run a half in Kalamazoo and wondered if I'd like to train with her. Yes, I did, but this race was the same weekend as our annual garage sale. I knew I didn't want to train on my own so I decided to try to fit the race in that weekend. We started planning our training program and coordinating our calendars to make sure we could find times to run together. We even paid for a babysitter to watch our kids one afternoon so we could run 12 miles! That is something I scoffed at a couple years ago and even said out loud, "I can't imagine ever paying someone so I could go run!" And now, here I was, paying someone so I could go run. And totally loving it.

I looked at the sign-up page for the race in Kalamazoo and decided to see what other races there were. I saw one close to where my parents live and it was a couple weeks before the Kalamazoo one. We had started training early enough that we were actually ahead of schedule so I'd technically be ready. It was during Easter weekend so we could stay at my parents and Josh could run that race or a difference distance if he wanted to participate and my parents could watch the kids. It'd be nice to get it over with before the garage sale weekend. There were too many positives to not run this particular half. So I signed up.

This seems ridiculous but it appears there will be a part 3!

what if?

2011-06-01T22:13:00.002-04:00

I know, this isn't part 2 about running. I'll get back to that, I promise. But I've had a thought rattling around in my head the past few days and wanted to get it out and write about it.

A few weeks ago, our church had the Life Action team come and do a week of revival services. The pastor was talking about the Word of God and how we should obey it completely and not think that it's not important. He also talked about obedience being better than sacrifice. So when God tells us to love each other, that's what He expects. He doesn't want excuses or a lame attempt.

I've been working on developing a loving spirit towards others. And I've discovered that there are some people I really like to not like. They irritate me and I enjoy going on rants about how much they irritate me. I have been trying to take captive those thoughts and turn them into prayer requests - both for that person and myself.

A verse has been popping into my head often lately - Ephesians 4:29. Actually, I had to google the verse to find the reference. The verse says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." What would happen if I took this verse literally? How would my speech change? My interaction with others? What would I do when I get annoyed or frustrated with others? Pray about it? Hmm. Maybe, just maybe, I would find myself getting frustrated less and loving more.

You know what I really like about this verse? The "why" is included. It's so complete. It's straight forward and there are no exceptions. It says, "don't do that, do this instead, and here's why." It's for my own good and for the good of others. It won't be easy but it will be worth it. So, this is my personal challenge. To start a habit of not letting any unwholesome talk come out of my mouth.

13.1 miles, anyone? Part 1

2011-05-23T23:19:00.004-04:00

First - some background information. I ran in high school. Not really because I was good at it but because my friends ran and it was one sport I could be in and not really mess up. I'm not the most coordinated and always felt like I froze under pressure. I'm also not much into sacrificing my body for a sport so when I'd play volleyball or basketball in gym, I'd hesitate, never sure of where to pass the ball or if I should take the shot or if I should go after the ball and I never, ever dove. With track and cross-country, that wasn't a problem. You just had to run. (I didn't attempt hurdles or high jump.) In elementary school, I loved playing tag and red rover. Running fast just felt good.

I wasn't much of a distance runner. I ran cross-country basically to try and stay in shape for track and because my friends were on the team. It was a small school and they needed the extra runners, too. I always did the minimum though. I did the least that was expected and if there was a way to do less than that, I'd do it. Dedication and commitment were not strong suits. I wanted to perform well but not really put in the time and effort to make that happen. I also don't think I understood how good I could possibly be but mostly, I just didn't care. I was happy just to finish the race and hang out with the team. So if our coach said to run 4-6 miles, I did 4. And possibly took a few short-cuts.

Fast forward a few years (after college and 2 kids) - I started going to a gym to get in shape. I had been walking on a treadmill but decided one day to jog. And almost fell off the treadmill because my ankles locked up. What in the world? It used to be so easy for me! A few more years went by (2 more kids). Some friends had talked about a training program called Couch to 5k - in 9 weeks, you go from being a couch potato to being able to run a 5k. We invested in a treadmill and I started running. I met with a friend very early twice a week to run 3-4 miles and occasionally, I'd run on the weekends. I was a runner again. I wasn't fast - but I was running and it felt good. I didn't use the treadmill a whole lot. If I couldn't meet with my friend, I usually didn't run. I didn't want to get up early or shower twice in one day or run too soon after eating something. You can see how it'd be difficult to fit a run in with all those requirements.

And then my friend and I weren't able to meet because our schedules got complicated and I stopped running.

Stay tuned for part 2!

Where to begin?

2011-05-19T23:59:00.002-04:00

Time has gotten away from me once again and it has been a long time since I updated this blog. Now I'm wondering - do I write a lot of posts in the next couple of days or do I just do a quick update right here? Or maybe a combo - a quick update but then go into more detail about some things?

The quick version of what we've been up to:
- half marathon. I ran my first half marathon! I didn't do as well as I hoped but I still like running, so that's a good thing. And I plan to run more in the future.
- baseball season started. Brendan is the only one playing this year, which is a good thing. Our calendar still feels too full.
- gymnastics program. Tori has been taking a gymnastics class for the past two years and this year they decided to do an end-of-the-year program to show off their stuff. It was well done and fun to see what she has learned.
- garage sale. My mom, sister and I had our annual garage sale here. I got to spend the week with them, make some money and get rid of a lot of stuff. Really, what could be better?
- Life Action Summit at our church. This was a revival team that came to our church and led services for a week. This will require a separate post. It's really hard to describe what that week meant to me.
- end of school. We will officially be done with our school work tomorrow! Brendan has one test left in his Bible class and then we're done! Woo-hoo! I don't know what we'll do yet to celebrate but we need to come up with something.
- sick. I started feeling cruddy Tuesday morning. I powered through the day on Tuesday but then felt awful on Wednesday - run-over-by-a-truck awful. I didn't do much Wednesday or today. Tonight I started feeling quite a bit better so I'm hoping for a normal day tomorrow. It's been hard to really appreciate being almost done with school when I'm just laying in bed as much as possible. Although, I did really appreciate being able to lay in bed and that would not have been possible if we still had a lot of work left. But it will be nice to appreciate the summer break and feel good at the same time. :)

I am questioning my decision to take a 2-hour-nap this afternoon. It seemed like a good idea at the time but now that I'm feeling better, I'm also feeling very wide awake and it's after midnight. I better start counting sheep.

Oh, no we didn't . . .

2011-05-03T22:18:00.006-04:00

Oh, yes, we did! I think that face says it all. That is Owen, sitting behind a full size drum set. And that was taken in our basement.

Here he is in action . . .

His child-size drum set just wasn't cutting it anymore. The cymbal resembled more of a pie tin and kind of sounded like one, too.

So we took the plunge and bought a used set.

We had to set some boundaries - no playing drums while Brendan and Tori are doing school, for one. So every morning, before he eats breakfast, Owen goes downstairs to get some playing time in.

I think it was a sound investment.

Being you

2011-04-05T22:34:00.002-04:00

I'm reading a book called "Up From the Blue" by Susan Henderson and just read a part that I had to share. Seriously, I just read this two seconds ago. I read it, re-read it, and then went to my blog to write this down. Listen to this:

"Everyone likes to tell you the ways you're wrong and ways you can improve yourself and what you should and shouldn't do. Sometimes you have to tune it out or there's nothing left of you that's right."

She's writing from the view of a 3rd grader but the truth of the statement really struck me. And I wonder if my own 3rd grade daughter feels like she can't do anything right. I know I have felt that before. I hope I can remember this and let it sink in and tell her the things I like about her. About all my kids. I know they need to be corrected and they know they need to be corrected. But they also need to know that they are loved, not for what they do right, but for their uniqueness and for being who they are.

This is why I love to read so much, for those quotes that just reach out and grab me.

Some real talent?

2011-03-29T23:35:00.000-04:00

This boy may have some real talent on the drums! And his sister looks quite comfortable with a microphone in her hand. I love my little music-makers!

The Joys of Parenting

2011-03-25T00:36:00.002-04:00

We have been in the middle of basketball season around here. It has been crazy busy at times but I love watching the game. I don't know all the rules - half the time I don't know why the ref blew the whistle - but I can keep track of the ball and know the basics, which is more than I can say for most sports. Plus, it's indoors - I love not dealing with weather when I'm watching sports!

Lucky for me, Brendan has loved basketball since he was little. There have been times when he loved it a little too much - he had all the players and their stats memorized and loved to tell you about them. Do I really care how how many points a certain player averaged and what team he played on before he was with his current team? No, but I tried my hardest to pretend.

This was his 6th year playing on a team and I think he has shown the most improvement this year. The refs started calling more fouls and traveling - things that previously they had let slide in an effort to keep the game moving and to let the kids work on dribbling and shooting. It just started feeling more like real basketball. The last couple of games were intense! Edge of the seat, hands in the air when the ball went in, lost track of other children, intense. So much fun to see him practice and grow as a player and watch him do something he enjoys.

I think that is one of the greatest joys and challenges of parenting. Encouraging our children to find what they love to do and what they're good at and help them practice and keep at it. Allowing them to try new things and then letting them stop if they decide they don't really like doing something. Teaching them that you don't have to be the best at something to enjoy it - but you do need to be the best you can be.

Owen has a passion for drums right now. He has watched several YouTube videos of the top drummers and really likes Neal Peart from Rush. He has asked when he can get more drums and cymbals so he can have a set like Neal's. We told him if he keeps practicing and gets better, we'll buy him more. This satisifes him for now. I secretly taped him performing for my mom. This is his version of "I Surrender All". I think he re-wrote at least half the lyrics.

Taking pictures

2011-03-05T00:24:00.002-05:00

Does anyone else go in phases with taking pictures? I feel like I have really dropped the ball on this one. I need to challenge myself to start walking around with my camera and get some candid shots of how our days are spent. I don't want the standard birthday and holiday pictures to be the only pictures I take. I want pictures of the kids coloring together at the table or playing dress-up or laying on the couch reading or laughing together.

I was just thinking the other day how I really like this particular stage of life. I have 4 children who are more independent but not to the adolescent stage yet. We don't deal with a lot of attitude - some, but not a lot. It's going to go by so quickly. Anytime we look ahead a few years, I gasp when I realize the ages of our kids. Even in 5 years - Brendan will be 15, Tori will be 13 and Rachel and Owen will be 9. Did you hear my gasp? Did you gasp, too? I remember when 5 years didn't seem like a long time. Now I can't hardly bear to plan that far ahead.

Part of me is excited for what the future will bring. But mostly I'm very aware of how fast it is going. And I'm really not ready for that yet. So I will start taking more pictures to make these moments last a little longer.

Did you know . . .

2011-02-14T16:25:00.003-05:00

- 4 year olds don't pick their nose anymore?
- 4 year olds take care of their dishes after they're done eating?
- 4 year olds don't "toot" at the table?
- 4 year olds can drink from a regular cup and not a sippy cup?

Rachel and Owen didn't know that either, until they turned 4!

It has been my past experience that age 4 is much better than age 3. I'm wondering now how much of that has to do with my expectations. Maybe by age 4, I just let them know that certain things won't be allowed anymore and they go along with it. At any rate, it's been fun to tell them that "we don't do that when we're 4".

Although, there have been times Rachel has sighed and said, "I don't want to be 4 anymore." Growing up isn't easy!

A squishy pillow

2011-02-14T16:20:00.002-05:00

Last week, Owen wet through his pull-up at night. I washed his sheets and was making his bed before rest time. He came in to "help" and saw his pillow case in a heap on the floor. He poked at it and said, "What the hay? My pillow is all squishy!" It took me a minute to realize he thought his whole pillow was in that heap. He was relieved when I explained that his pillow was in the hallway (where he had taken it) and that heap of fabric was just his pillow case.

"What if he didn't?"

2011-01-27T22:11:00.003-05:00

I was working with Tori on her Awana verses a couple weeks ago. We were trying different activities to help the verse sink in a little more. The first activity was writing the verse on a white board and then erasing one word at a time after she said the verse each time. This works great for Brendan but Tori is more visual and just seemed to focus on the words that were left and couldn't remember what had been erased.

So I tried the picture route. We took each part of the verse and drew out a picture of what it was saying. This seemed to be much more helpful, along with repeating the verse several times.

The verse was 1 Peter 2:24, "He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." I drew Jesus on the cross and then had many arrows with the word "sin" pointing to his body.

I know Tori has heard this many times. It's not new information. But this time it seemed to really sink in.

I know the feeling.

This time, she looked at the very poorly drawn picture and said, "He took all our sins." And I said, "Yes, he did." And she responded with, "But mom, what if he didn't?" And I was struck speechless. I just looked at her and honestly said, "I don't know." And we both just looked and pondered that for a minute. And then agreed that we were so thankful he did.

I love seeing things through the eyes of my children.

Starting 2011 with a bang - almost too literally

2011-01-13T22:02:00.006-05:00

I have started this post so many times. There is just a lot to write about! I was trying to figure out a way to put it all together in a cohesive way but that just wasn't happening. So this will be more of hodge-podge post.

It's a new year and I'm feeling good! I started some changes last December and decided that one of my resolutions this year would be to continue those. In November I started running again. I've been running on and off for a couple years but haven't felt committed. I often used any excuse to not run. For some reason, this time something clicked with me. I felt the need to prove something to myself. I ran a couple times with some friends who were a lot faster than me. I thought about telling them that I just couldn't keep up with them but they were very encouraging and said that if I kept at it, I'd be running at their pace. I'm almost there! Before, the most I would do on the treadmill was 3 miles. This time, I've gone 6! I'm improving my speed and am making time to run 3 times a week and actually enjoy it. I'm really excited to run some races this summer and see what I can do.

Another goal for this year is to read the Bible. Our church is doing this together but I decided to be a little different. I didn't want to buy a new Bible with the reading plan so I looked on-line and saw a chronological plan and decided to go that route. It's been good to get in the habit of reading it every day, even if it's occasionally very late at night. For some reason, I'm more apt to fall asleep when I try to read it in the afternoon but reading it at 11:30 pm is never a problem.

I've also been watching what I eat and trying to limit certain foods. I think I'm making better choices. I joined the SparkPeople website and have been tracking what I eat and trying to stay within the recommended amounts for me. It has definitely made a difference. It seems to be a change that I can continue. I wanted to lose some weight but it wasn't just about the numbers on the scale. It was how clothes were starting to fit (or not fit, really) and I knew that my current eating habits were not helping things. I kept saying "moderation in all things" but I wasn't really moderate. And again, I wanted to stick with something and prove that I could do it.

That seems to be a theme for this year - stick to it. I should probably pick up that guitar and add that to my list of goals. I seem to be more focused and goal-oriented than I have been in the past.

Last Saturday, I heated up some water in the microwave to make tea. When I walked back through the living room, it smelled strongly of bacon. We had had bacon for supper so I didn't think too much of it. On Sunday, Josh heated some water in the microwave to make hot chocolate for the kids after they had played outside. This time it smelled like fish. We could not figure out what was going on. Monday morning, I was heating some oatmeal in the microwave and Tori happened to be sitting in the living room. She hollered out, "Mom, this is bad, it's going to be a fire!" I walked in and she pointed to an outlet that had sparks coming out. I quickly turned off the microwave and unplugged it for good measure. I called Josh and he called an electrician, after cautioning me to not use the microwave again. No worries there.

The electrician came on Tuesday morning and showed me our old outlet, with some melted wire around it, and said we were very close to a house fire. I asked if that would have caused a fish-like odor and he said that would have been the wire burning. He even had me smell the outlet and the odor was still there. He put in a new outlet, one that is now grounded. So thankful for a daughter who was done eating and who happened to be sitting in the right spot at the right time to alert me to the danger. I don't really like to think about what might have happened.

Now, to keep up with these goals past January. :)

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-23T00:30:00.002-05:00

Doesn't Brownie look like she's in the holiday spirit?

Tori has been an animal lover her entire life. She has big plans when she moves out. She wants to own a poodle, golden retriever, chihuahua, and dachsund. And a horse. And maybe a rabbit. And a couple cats. The poor thing has to settle for one chocolate lab right now. If we could, I'd have a couple goats. And maybe another dog - but not one of those silly little dogs. I'd get a newfoundland. We're a bit different, my daughter and I.

This year, top on her Christmas list, is a chihuahua complete with clothes. We watched a little video clip about them by a vet and he said you have to be very careful where you walk because they get underfoot very easily and also like to hide under recliners. Josh made an innocent comment about most likely crushing a little dog like that because of not watching where he was going. Tori now will tell people that she "wants a chihuahua but my dad said he'd crush it." A bit out of context.

Needless to say, she's not getting her wish this year. But hey, a chocolate lab can be dressed up, right? I have never seen a more pleading look in this dog's eyes. She looks so humiliated. But Tori was in heaven. So Brownie gets the Santa hat put on every day. At least the white beard that came with it was too small so she doesn't have to suffer through that disgrace.

Are you sure they're only cousins?

2010-12-06T23:23:00.002-05:00

There have been times that I've seen a picture of my nephew, Barrett, and thought he looked like Brendan did when he was younger. But I never realized how similar they looked until I saw this picture!

"Tell him 'Hi' for me, okay?"

2010-12-01T22:04:00.002-05:00

This was a conversation I heard tonight as I took the kids to the Awana church program. We passed by some decorated houses and Owen exclaimed, "Santa!" Rachel then informed him that it wasn't the real Santa, it was a pretend one. Apparently, she's not a Santa fan:

Rachel: Owen, do you like Santa?
Owen: Yes.
Rachel: Oh, okay, then you tell him "Hi" and give him a hug, okay?
Owen: Okay.
Rachel: 'Cause I don't like him so I don't want to.

At least she's got someone to stand in for her!

Elk, swimming, bat factory - but not at the same time

2010-11-25T23:14:00.004-05:00

The promised, much-anticipated vacation pictures

Can you imagine seeing this out your back window?

The elk just took over this driveway.

Waiting for the paint to dry

Sanding the bat

The trick or treaters ready to go!

Rachel is a "toes in first" kind of girl.

Owen is a "watch out world, here I come!" kind of boy.

A break from the every day

2010-11-07T20:31:00.003-05:00

After two intense months of school, football, irish dance, gymnastics, and awana, we took a week off. It was awesome.

We left Saturday after Brendan's last football game and drove about 6 hours to Pennsylvania to stay in a condo. My parents, sister and her little boy also went with us. We each had a two bedroom, two bath condo with a kitchen and living area. There was an indoor pool a short walk away that we had to ourselves every day. Owen only had a near-drowning once. We slept in, played games, went swimming and enjoyed the luxury of two bathrooms. :) Seriously, it's a luxury.

We toured a baseball bat factory and watched them make a wooden bat in 2 1/2 minutes. We got to see elk very close up - crazy close up. I have pictures but they won't be put on tonight. I don't think I'd like to have elk walking through my backyard and laying in the middle of my driveway but it was neat to see them.

Now we're home and I haven't started laundry yet or cooked a meal. I think tomorrow will be a big adjustment. It was good to come home but I haven't quite gotten out of the vacation mindset yet.

Creative use of space

2010-10-07T23:48:00.007-04:00

If I haven't mentioned this before, our house is on the small side. It's about 1200 sq. ft., plus the basement. The upstairs is about 220 sq. ft, about a third of which is hallway and attic space. That's not a lot of space left for 4 small people, especially when one of those is getting closer to adult size.

Last year, I started trying to figure out how we would rearrange the rooms to fit Rachel and Tori in one and Brendan and Owen in the other. There was a bunk bed in Brendan's room that fit okay. Because of the sloped ceiling, it was pushed against the closet, which meant only half the closet was really accessible but it worked. I hoped we could fit a twin bed with a trundle in the other room but when we measured, we realized there would be no space for toys or a dresser if we did that. It would literally take up the whole room.

We talked about making an L-shaped bunk bed specifically for that space and then I came across this in an Ikea catalog:

It's a loft bed that is just the right height for the ceilings in our rooms. We put them together in August and we now have a room for the girls and a room for the boys. I was going to buy new bedding for them but was debating about getting matching bedding. My mom made a comment when she was helping me put sheets on the beds (not an easy feat) and jokingly said that maybe I should just let them use a sleeping bag every night.

I started thinking about it and realized that there was no room on top or bottom bunk for a comforter to hang down. It would be a lot nicer if there was a blanket that was the same size as the bed. A sleeping bag wasn't a bad idea but hard to find really cute ones. I decided to make the no-sew fleece blankets for each of them. They're heavy enough that they tend to stay in place fairly well and easy to straighten out in the morning and keep the beds looking neat. It was also easy to find fleece that they would each love.

I bought matching fabric for Tori and Rachel. Besides the fact that they like matching, I was worried that they would like whatever the other had better.

This is Tori's bed. We bought these cute cubbies to give her more space for some things of her own. I actually bought a set for Rachel and Owen, too, but then decided maybe putting some of their favorite things right next to them in bed would encourage playtime and not sleeping. So those will be taken back. Or used in another spot.

And Rachel's cute little bed. I did not realize the outlet was right there until I took this picture. There will be outlet covers on that tomorrow.

Brendan's bed - he went with the U of M fleece. And again, he has the nifty cubbies to hold books and cd's and his mp3 player. Everybody needs a space to call their own.

And Owen's bed. He was supposed to get John Deere fleece but they were out of that so I went with another favorite - Cars. And again, I didn't realize until now that there is an outlet right there. That will be covered tomorrow as well.

The new roommate situation has worked out really well. The boys now go off and play up in their room (or listen to music and look at football cards) and the girls will go up and play in their room together. I love seeing them interact like that. It makes me think that maybe this house is still perfect for us. At least for now.

The Cutest Little Cubbies!

2010-09-22T21:18:00.004-04:00

I know, it's hard to believe they're the same kids, isn't it?

And all 4 of them, ready to go for the first night of Awana. They're a good-looking bunch. I'd say cute but I don't think a 10-year old boy appreciates that term.

Reminiscing about the cutest Thing 1 and Thing 2 ever

2010-09-19T23:42:00.003-04:00

In case you couldn't tell, Rachel is Thing 1 and Owen is Thing 2.

They were about 7 months old in this picture.

Dr. Seuss booties! (not the sock kind)

Yup, that's it exactly

2010-09-18T22:57:00.002-04:00

Have you ever read a book where the author just expressed exactly how you feel? I started reading a book called Joy School, by Elizabeth Berg. At one point, the main character, a 13-year-old girl, says "And anyway, even when I like a person there is a weariness that comes. I can be with someone and everything is fine and then all of a sudden it can wash over me like a sickness, that I need the quiet of my own self. I need to unload my head and look at what I've got in there so far. See it. Think what it means. I always need to come back to being alone for awhile."

I read that and recognized it, recognized myself. That is it, exactly. I love the phrase "the quiet of my own self". And this is why I read books. To put into words those feelings and bits of myself that I can't express.

Finding the balance - with finances

2010-09-17T23:45:00.002-04:00

Last year, I wrote a lot about our finances and budgeting and groceries. I was reading a lot of blogs about those subjects. It was somewhat consuming. I've decided to stop obsessing. We still do a cash budget for some things because it helps me stay accountable. There are times, however, that I do go over budget. And it's no big deal. We live within our means, we save up for purchases, we limit miscellaneous spending. We don't budget each month to the dollar. We don't keep track of how we spend every dollar. We do keep our checking account balanced and we do allow for extra expenses. We have made mistakes but we've learned from those and we're trying to not repeat them.

And you know what? It's been quite freeing. I've given myself permission to do what works for us and to stop trying to do what works for everyone else. Some lessons just take awhile to learn.

Finding the balance

2010-09-15T22:51:00.003-04:00

Although I love that we homeschool, there are things I miss.

I have lamented the fact that I don't get a parent-teacher conference with my kids. I am both the parent and the teacher so I don't get a pat on the back or hear what my child needs to work on; I only have my opinion to go by and frankly, I'm biased. Although I think sometimes I'm even more critical than a teacher would be.

I've also lamented the fact that my kids don't get to tell me about their day. I'm there with them. They don't get to bring home papers or art projects to show me.

But this year - we joined our local homeschool co-op and now, every Wednesday morning, from 8:30 until 11:45, my kids are with other teachers. They do art every week. I am so excited to have all these cool art projects to collect now!! They have a fun science class with a teacher who is excited about science. They have a challenging writing class and have assignments that I can help with and not have to worry about grading. And I get to see them in a classroom setting and see how polite and respectful they are and watch them raise their hands and answer questions correctly. And honestly, I get a little teary-eyed. I am so proud and so relieved that they're turning out okay. Somehow, in spite of all my inadequacies and fears and laziness and mistakes, they're doing really well.

It gives me confidence for the future. It helps me enjoy our time together at home. Just that one morning one day a week seems to fill the void perfectly and brings balance to our homeschool schedule.

Now THIS is why I homeschool

2010-09-01T21:31:00.002-04:00

* starting our school year when I was ready to start, which happened to be a week before our public schools started.
* taking off after a half day of school today to go swimming
*making up the half day after we got back from swimming
* watching my daughter begin to DEVOUR books - and knowing it's because of me that she can read. (and now I'm wondering where on earth we will put more books)
* telling my son that if he wanted to go camping with his grandpa and grandma, he'd have to do extra school work before he left and then I got to watch in amazement as he finished a whole weeks worth of work in 3 days!!

I know it's not for everyone. But in just 3 days, I've been reminded of why we have chosen this at this stage in our life. And I have no regrets.

Small town 4th of July

2010-08-09T00:01:00.007-04:00

Owen and Rachel waving the red, white and blue

Owen, please don't put it up your nose

Brendan also showing his patriotism

Who is that riding in the parade?

. Grandpa Lee! Our Citizen of the Year!

And yes, he may have thrown an extra handful of candy

at some special parade spectators.

I love everything about a small town 4th of July.

My little tractor boy

2010-08-03T23:13:00.006-04:00

I'm not sure how this happened but I have a wanna-be farmer. Not that we're city folk or anything like that. Josh and I both grew up around farms. My grandpa and uncles were farmers for years. But my little Owen didn't know that and wasn't around that. Last summer, he became a bit obsessed with my Uncle C.R.'s John Deere tractor when we were up at his resort.

The obsession has continued. And we have fueled it. But to be honest, I'm not sure we could have contained it. I wonder how long it will last?

Both our parents live in a small town in rural mid-Michigan surrounded by farms. After we get off the highway, we drive for about 20 minutes on country roads surrounded by farmland. Owen's favorite game to play during this drive is "find the John Deere tractor". It's a fun game to play and gets more challenging as the corn gets taller. Oh, and to see an actual tractor working in an actual field is a dream come true.

So, this year on vacation, Owen was Uncle C.R.'s little buddy. He saved him a seat at every meal. He searched for him and followed him around, talking about tractors. And then, at the end of the week, this was his reward.

Oh, yes, he's even steering it. And a little video of his tractor-driving action (because I knew he'd want to re-live this moment again and again) : This boy was in tractor heaven!

Redemption

2010-07-13T21:55:00.002-04:00

After hitting a low point a couple of weeks ago, I had to send Brendan away to camp again. This time it was to a church camp about 50 minutes away. It was so different from the last camp. At this one, we had all the correct information. We knew where to go and what he needed to take. There were several boys and girls there from our church so he was surrounded by people he knew. We left him with a light heart.

We picked him on Saturday morning (on time and in the right place - again) and he was full of smiles and stories. Non-stop stories. My goodness, that boy can talk.

The highlight was that we had surprised him and sent him a card while he was there. They have mail call every day and he never expected to get one. He said he didn't know I knew I could write to him. :) It was a last minute decision but I'm so glad I did it. I wish I had thought of it when Tori was there. I didn't say much but he knew we were thinking of him and missing him and that we loved him. I think it helped make up for letting him down before.

Water on a hot day

2010-07-01T22:42:00.006-04:00

A sparkling water fountain on a hot sunny day . . . just how wet will they get?

Barrett is thinking that water looks pretty good . . .

and laughs with glee as he feels the spray.

Rachel just wants to touch - but not get too close.

And then there's Owen - who tried to get as wet as he could.

And was not too happy when we said it was time to go!

40 years

2010-06-29T22:11:00.005-04:00

My parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary this past weekend. They often celebrate their anniversary by going to The Bavarian Inn in Frankenmuth. This year, they wanted all of us to celebrate with them and we happily obliged!

A program from the restaurant showing the reservations for the day

There we are - in the Geneva room

I didn't take any pictures of the meal but we were well fed and enjoyed a family-style fried chicken dinner. It was wonderful having a private room and not having to worry about the little ones so much.

Happy Anniversary, mom and dad!

A low moment

2010-06-27T23:44:00.002-04:00

I hit a low as a mom the other day. I let Brendan down in a big way. And the pain of that hit me so hard, it took me a couple of days to recover.

I know I'm not perfect. I was never under that illusion. And I know my kids know I'm not perfect. I get angry, I make mistakes. But I think this may have been the first time that one of them was really counting on me and I blew it.

Brendan went to the overnight basketball camp at Spring Arbor University last week. Josh took him over there on Sunday afternoon for check in. It was hard letting him go. He didn't know anyone else there and he would be staying overnight until Thursday. He had a key to his room and had to keep track of that. There was a lot more freedom and responsibilty than he's had before.

Check-in did not go entirely smoothly. I feel the need to explain some things, while at the same time not excusing what happened. I sent the registration in for the camp, along with the deposit money, at the beginning of May. We never received any confirmation that he was signed up so I called last week and was told yes, they had his name down. We looked on-line to see where they needed to go to check-in and the only thing we could find was a map on the brochure on-line that had the fieldhouse circled so Josh took him there. He called me at 3:20 (check-in was from 3-5) and said there were tables set up but no one was there. I looked on-line again and could find no other information. He decided to drive around and saw people going in one of the dorms. Sure enough, that was where they needed to be.

Monday night, we went over to see one of the games. It had said on-line that parents could visit the camp at any time and that there would also be an awards ceremony at the end of camp. The only thing on the brochure said that check-out was at 1:00 pm on Thursday. I asked Brendan that night if they had said anything about the awards ceremony and he said no. I went over to a table that had schedules posted on it and it said camp ended at 12:00 on Thursday. I wondered if the awards ceremony would be then but also thought that was lunch time so I figured they'd eat lunch and then come back for the awards and check-out. Since it wasn't explicitly stated that way, I thought I should ask someone. But I didn't. When we were leaving, Josh told Brendan he'd come back Wednesday to watch him play so I thought I'd have Josh ask someone then. But I didn't.

Thursday morning came and I was really looking forward to getting Brendan and bringing him home. I wondered if I should go over early to see what was going on, just in case the awards program was early, but I also had the other kids with me and convinced myself that it would be at 1:00 because that was the only information that had been sent home.

I don't think I'd make a good mystery writer because I'm pretty sure you can see where this is going.

I loaded up the kids around 12:40 on Thursday and drove to Spring Arbor. I went to the fieldhouse first and no one was there. Then I realized that I didn't know what dorm he was in. I called Josh and figured out where it was after driving for a few minutes. I walked in the dorm with just my keys and the kids and realized I didn't know what room he was in. We walked through some halls and finally I found someone to ask and they pointed us to the third floor. I saw someone coming out of a room and asked if he knew where Brendan Hall was and he said, "Oh, Brendan, here she is." Brendan came out with his eyes a little red and just said, "Where were you? You missed the awards." He was one of the last ones to get picked up and had been waiting for about an hour. The awards had been at noon and then the campers were free to leave - there was no lunch that day.

Can you say "ouch"? My heart still hurts a little thinking about it.

I apologized and explained to him how I had been trying to find him and how I had thought the awards were at 1:00. He got over it pretty quick - I think he was just relieved that someone was finally there to pick him up and take him home. It's taken me a couple days to process it and be able to think about without tears. I think what really hurts is knowing that is just the first of many times that I will disappoint him. That even with all my good intentions, there are times I will just screw up and hurt him.

He seems to have recovered with no major scars. He had a great time at camp and talks about it all the time and just casually mentions that I was late picking him up. I cringe but I'm working on it. I realized two days later that as I was walking the dorm looking for him, there were two young boys sitting there waiting for their ride. So I wasn't the only one who didn't get there for the awards. That helped a little.

I want to tell my kids that they can always count on me but there are times when that isn't true. I don't want it to be like that and I will do my best to be there (next time I will ask questions) but I am human and I make mistakes. Now I get to teach them about grace and forgiveness and also about One who they can always count on. I guess that lesson is worth the pain.

To sell or not to sell?

2010-06-17T21:45:00.002-04:00

Actually, that should be "To list or not to list?" because the real question isn't about selling our home - we can't control that. The real question is if we want to keep it listed and have the option of selling it.

I know this will come as no surprise, but I go back and forth about this. Since we've had our house on the market for over a year now, we decided to stop putting off doing some things. Like getting a new swingset. Putting in a new adjustable basketball hoop. Just things that we didn't do last year because we didn't want to invest more into this house if we were just going to be leaving. Now we're realizing that this might be our home for longer than we originally thought and we're trying to make the best of it. Utilizing our outdoor space is definitely one way to do that! We're also planning on putting in new windows and re-doing the kids rooms upstairs later this summer or early fall.

At one time, we thought we'd take it off the market for 2-3 years and make these changes and save up money. Then we thought maybe we'd leave it on while making these changes. Yes, showings can be a pain but there haven't been many of those. Then we talked about taking it off the market for a couple months and possibly putting it back on.

The verdict? Still don't know. {grin} We'll see what the situation is in August and I'm sure I'll be bringing up the pros and cons to Josh many times until then! I can say this with certainty - I am learning to be more flexible and to not get attached to how I think things should be. And what is the point of living life if you're never learning anything new?

comments

2010-06-16T23:11:00.003-04:00

I am so sorry but I accidentally deleted some comments left on here. And they were very nice ones, too! I meant to publish them but can't find them so I think I clicked on the wrong button. :( Just so you know, it was an accident and not intentional at all.

The problem has been solved. Apparently it was a blogger error and not a user error.

My Family

2010-06-16T22:55:00.008-04:00

Last Saturday, we had a photo shoot by my friend, lidija Fremeau, of LAF Lines Photography. lidija is a very talented and creative photographer. I love seeing what she catches on film! Here are a few favorites from our morning.

Ahh, books

2010-06-16T11:26:00.002-04:00

I truly do love books. When I saw this new blog design, I just knew it was for me. It gave me that same feeling that I get when I step into a book store - I just want to sit and soak it in. I want to have a big pile of books next to me and no clock. You can ask those who have gone with me to a book store - I tend to forget that there is such a thing as time. Or that some people don't like to spend hours in a bookstore.

We recently had a garage sale here and I set out about 3 or 4 boxes of books. I know we don't have space to keep all the books that I bring home but boy, I wish it was less painful to let them go. My dream is to someday have a room that has about 3 times as many bookshelves as I do right now. And I bet even then, I'll have to go through and get rid of some. Or maybe open up a used bookstore of my own. :)

The Natural

2010-06-16T10:16:00.006-04:00

Brendan pitched for the first time this last Sunday. He's been talking to the coach (his dad) about it for a few weeks and practicing in his spare time and the coach decided to give him an inning to see how he did. He did great! He was able to get three outs with the first three batters and only pitched two balls.

Decisions, decisions

2010-06-15T22:45:00.002-04:00

I wish decisions came easier to me. I wish I could just look at the facts and make a choice and not look back. I realize that sometimes I will make the wrong decision. I know that's inevitable. I just wish I wasn't plagued by self-doubt immediately after making a decision.

We finished our school year about 2 weeks ago. I had made some decisions for our curriculum for next fall. (I think I love this time of year, by the way. I love being close to finishing up one year of school and getting a break and playing outside and having lots of time to read and finding new things to use for the next year that will make it even better than this year.) There were still one thing I wasn't sure about - what math to use for Tori next year. She'll be entering third grade. She's made a lot of progress this year in many areas. She aced almost all her spelling tests. She's picking up books, regular chapter books, and reading them on her own. And laughing out loud to herself, which makes me smile every single time. But math is still not her strong suit.

So I researched some curriculums and looked up samples on-line and looked at their diagnostic tests to see where she'd place. According to these tests, she needs to do 2nd grade math. This took awhile for me to accept. If I'm homeschooling my children and my daughter is a grade behind in math, doesn't that mean I'm failing? Some of you might see it that way. I think I would be failing if I moved her to 3rd grade math when she still hadn't grasped some 2nd grade concepts. It is more important to me that she understands the basics of math before moving on.

Once I accepted the idea that she would be working on 2nd grade math, then I had to decide what math curriculum to get. We had been using Math-U-See. It was good for 1st grade for her but last year I noticed that Tori was becoming dependent on using the blocks. It also wasn't enough review. She was forgetting addition after working on subtraction. I was looking at Saxon Math, A Beka, Horizons, Christian Light, . . . there are so many choices out there! I looked at some sample lessons and was drawn to Christian Light. It's a workbook format - no writing out the problems. (Hmm, I should look into this for Brendan - that might take care of a lot of grumbling!) It uses a step-by-step spiral approach, which means a new lesson is introduced, with some practice problems and then review problems. There isn't much teacher preparation required - very important to me. It's moderately priced.

As I was looking at it, I realized that it might be the kind of thing where Tori could work on it this summer. Maybe she could start their 2nd grade math now and work through the summer. We might be able to skip some lessons or combine a couple even. I talk to Tori about it and she likes the idea of having a little workbook to work on this summer. It sounds like a plan!

I go to order it . . . and become paralyzed. I don't know, maybe I should pick a different math program. Maybe I should just get the workbook from Sam's Club for this summer and work with her myself and then just move on to 3rd grade. Maybe I should just give her the summer off and work on flash cards and do 2nd grade math this fall. On a whim, I google "Best math curriculum for homeschoolers" and find a website article called "Choosing a homeschool math curriculum". This article was written with me in mind, there is just no other explanation for it.

One of the first sentences I read said that as long as the curriculum was of decent quality, the teacher was more important than the book. Hmph. So, it's up to me. Not to make sure I choose the right one, but to use whatever I choose in a way that works for us and that makes sense to Tori. Well, I can do that. And that is one of the reasons I love homeschooling. I love the freedom to try new things, to create our own schedule, to find what works for us. The books are ordered and we'll be starting our math summer school session as soon as they arrive.

Trying to catch up

2010-06-08T21:09:00.004-04:00

I know, it's been forever. I'm still here, though! Here are some pictures of a few things that have been going on. And this was only one weekend!

My nephew, Barrett, was dedicated.

Grandma Judy sewed up the hole in Owen's blankie. It was getting kind of scary letting him sleep with something that could easily get wrapped around his neck!

Brendan had his 10th birthday. I can't quite believe my oldest is 10. I refuse to think about how many years he has left at home. Not even going there.

And my brother became a college graduate! I'm on the left and my sister is on the right.

Lots to write about house stuff, homeschool stuff, and some good books I've read but that will have to wait for another post.

Product Recall

2010-05-04T23:09:00.003-04:00

For those of you who may not have heard, there is a product recall on several children's medicines. There is a form on this website that you can fill out if you have any of these in your home. It's very easy to do and they will send you either a refund for the product or a high value coupon. I chose the refund because I'm not exactly sure how high of a value the coupon would be and when it would expire. The brands include Children's and Infant's Tylenol, Children's and Infant's Motrin, Children's Zyrtec and Children's Benadryl.

The Dr Dilemma part 2

2010-05-04T23:02:00.002-04:00

Late last night, around 11:45, Rachel woke up crying and said her mouth hurt. Oh, good. Then this morning, Owen woke up with a fever.

But since we had just been to see the dr yesterday, I didn't panic because I realized that they both have a virus and their bodies are trying to fight it off. So they were given a lot of liquids and plenty of rest.

I am thankful for their doctor. He never pushes medication, he never seems alarmed about anything and he always seems to recognize whatever is going on with my kids. I have thought about switching different times because he's 25 minutes away and my doctor (who is a family dr and would see the kids) is literally 5 blocks away. Maybe when they're older we'll switch. For now, even though I do get frustrated with the 2-3 hour chunk of time that a dr's visit consumes, it's worth it for the peace of mind.

Rachel does not seem to have it as bad as Owen did. Here's hoping they're both on the mend!

The Dr Dilemma

2010-05-03T22:26:00.002-04:00

I used to be one of those moms who called the dr at the first sign of a fever. After 4 kids, I've learned a few things and now try to wait as long as possible before calling. Friday night, we were eating dinner and Owen started crying, saying his tongue hurt. We told him to stick it out and could see a little bump at the end of it. Oh, the poor thing had a canker sore. I tried to get him to drink milk and eat rice - anything bland that wouldn't irritate it. Of course, the pineapple was what looked good to him but certainly did not feel good.

Saturday was more of the same, except lots more crying. We were starting to lose our patience. Yes, we understood it hurt but what can we do? Saturday night, I had him stick out his tongue again and saw several canker sores on the underside. Yikes, that looks bad. Maybe this is more serious than I thought. I looked it up on-line and found out that gargling with hydrogen peroxide and water is a good cure but since toddlers don't necessarily have the correct gargling skills, you can also dab it on with a q-tip, followed by some milk of magnesia. We did that on Sunday and it seemed to be working.

Then this morning, I looked again and saw a bunch more on the sides of his tongue towards the back. This was kind of freaking me out so I called the dr's office. Apparently, sores on the tongue could mean lots of different things so I took him in. They ran a strep test, which came back negative. They took his fever and he did have a low fever. The dr explained that he had a viral infection similar to hand, foot and mouth disease but instead of a rash, he had sores on his tongue - which had some fancy name that I didn't quite catch. He told me it would probably last for a few days, it might get worse, and I could give him benadryl mixed with maalox for the mouth pain if necessary.

Tonight, I looked at his tongue before he went to bed. It looks like it's completely cleared up. I am not joking. I just have this feeling that if I wouldn't have gone to the dr's today, it'd be worse tonight. I know that's completely illogical but isn't that the way it seems to go? And I know it's good we got it checked out and it was reassuring to hear that it's just a virus but I keep thinking, "If I would have waited one more day, there would have been no reason to call." Maybe by the time they're all grown, I'll know when to wait and when to call.

Getting ready for summer fun

2010-05-02T22:39:00.006-04:00

In May 2001, we bought a small metal swingset for Brendan. He was 1 and not able to do much on it but we knew he'd grow into it. We loved the looks of the wooden swingsets but the prices were a bit steep. This small one would work for now and we thought we would get something nicer in a few years or build one ourselves.

Fast-forward 8 years: it's now May 2009 and we have 4 kids. The old, metal swing set is falling apart and is now getting to be dangerous. We tear it down but aren't sure about buying a new one because we're trying to sell our house. We know we don't want another metal one and we'd hate to sell right after putting up a nice, wooden one. We make good use of a school playground close by and ride there often on our bikes.

The next year: May 2010 and our house hasn't sold. We decide it's time to make this house a better fit for us and get more use out of our backyard. Rachel and Owen are 3 and handle themselves quite well on swingsets. They can do the rock climbing wall and go down the slide and love to be pushed on the swings. Not even baby swings anymore, just regular swings. We see a swing set on sale at Toys R Us that is a good price and has the features we want.

It took a couple of Saturdays (and parts of some other days) but boy, was it worth it. Just look at these faces!

And there isn't a picture but my face is smiling, too. :) I love being able to send them out to play in our enclosed backyard and watching them from our kitchen window.

Calm, cool and collected

2010-04-13T22:42:00.002-04:00

. . . does not often describe me. I so admire the moms I see who speak calmly and who never seem to lose their cool. I want to be like that. I have made an effort but all too often, I let my emotions take control and I end up carrying on in a ridiculous manner, usually about something that wasn't even important.

I recently read something on another blog that I think I need to re-read often.

"If a child has done wrong, a child needs talking to; BUT, NO parent ought to talk to a child while that parent is unable to talk in a natural tone of voice, and with carefully measured words. . . .If a parent is tempted to speak rapidly, multiply words, or show an excited state of feeling, the parents first duty is to gain entire self-control." From Lou Priolo's book, The Heart of Anger.

Wow. Just wow. I cannot even begin to count how many times a day I show an excited state of feeling when I talk to my kids and it's usually not a good feeling. I get frustrated very easily and don't take the time to get control before I speak. And one of the things that upsets me the most with Brendan is how quickly he gets upset. Oh, boy.

Another funny thing - I have this book. I just haven't read it yet. And I've had it for four years.

It's time to do some serious reading and praying. And hope it's not too late to be a better example to some young ones in my home.

Seeing the light . . .

2010-03-22T22:44:00.002-04:00

We are on the home stretch of our school year and it feels great! We're on track with where I wanted to be and I am ready to finish strong. Around the end of January, I started feeling sluggish but we plodded through. I started getting worried that we'd end up slacking off and we'd either start next year behind or have to work during the summer to catch up.

But then we got some warm, spring days and all of a sudden, I started counting the weeks left and it didn't seem that far off! We started a new writing book, which I absolutely love, and have a good routine in place. It feels so good to actually feel like I know what I'm doing now and feel fairly confident with what the kids are learning.

I have always had a more relaxed approach to schooling. I didn't think the kids needed to sit for long periods of time and had no desire to give them busy work to do just to fill up their day. I am also big into the basics - reading and math. We do history and science but I'm not as concerned about that information sticking. I want them to become familiar with ideas and names and concepts without necessarily memorizing anything at this age.

Last year I started to become concerned that maybe my relaxed approach was a nicer way of saying lazy. I didn't want to be lazy with their education. So I made it a goal to be more consistent with school and to finish what we started. We were close. We didn't technically finish the curriculum but that was partly because we added some new books in January. My thought was that we'd finish them throughout the summer but I wasn't disciplined enough to do that. It's not just the kids that need a break from school - I need a break from being a teacher sometimes, too. It still ended up to be a good year for all of us.

This year has gone even better. I have more defined goals for the kids. We're all more comfortable with the work we're doing and the routine we have. Brendan and Tori know what is expected of them every day and this causes less complaining - in theory anyways. Some days are better than others. I know myself better as a teacher. Overall, we're in a very good place in our homeschooling journey and I'm so glad we've stuck with it.

What was that again?

2010-02-28T16:44:00.002-05:00

Here is a conversation from this morning:

Rachel: Where we going?
Me: To church
Owen: Why to church?
Me: Because we want to.
Rachel: Why going to church?
Me: Because we want to.

Later, another conversation:

Owen: Is it dark out?
Me: No, it's light out.
Rachel: Is it dark out?
Me: No, it's light out.
Owen: Is it lunch time?
Me: Yes, it's lunch.
Rachel: Is it lunch time?
Me: Yes, it's lunch.

When I talk about saying the same things all day long or feeling like I'm losing my mind, I'm not exaggerating all that much.

Hahaha!

2010-02-16T22:39:00.003-05:00

Yup, that's me laughing. Because really, what else can you do? We don't have control in life over much, except how we respond to what happens.

Last April, we became debt free except our mortgage. And it felt awesome. For 2 months. Then we discovered our air conditioner in our van didn't work. And of course, you don't discover something like this until it's hot and you need the air conditioning to work so that was not a pleasant trip. The cost to repair it was more than the value of the van. And they weren't done estimating the final cost yet. And they didn't know if it would mess up anything else in the process.

Now, we had two choices. I suppose we actually had three, but keeping a van with no ac was not a choice we considered. So our two choices were to take out a loan or find something that we could pay cash for. We had some cash saved up but not a huge amount.

I adore Dave Ramsey and agree with much of what he says but this is one area we have trouble with. He would say to pay cash and drive around something that is less than pretty while we save up more cash and then trade it in for a better vehicle. I'm not saying that wouldn't work but we don't like worrying about vehicles or dealing with repairs. I'm home with 4 children - I like to know there is a reliable vehicle in my garage for those days that we just need a change of scenery.

So, we went with a loan. We were able to buy a 2007 van with a dvd player and the extra st0w-n-go seating and we love it. We paid off the loan last August and were able to once again say, we're debt free!

And then last week, Josh came home and said the truck was making a horrible sound. His truck is a 95 Chevy that we bought in 98. He had taken it in a few weeks before and was told it needed about $1000 worth of repairs. We were holding off on those because we had just spent $1400 on it last December. With this new noise, the estimated repair was $400 . . . or a new engine rebuild. We had been looking ahead and planned to purchase a new truck sometime in the near future because our current one was an extended cab with only 2 doors and it was not very family-friendly. We all fit, but just barely, and it resembled a clown car watching us all get out. Just when you thought we must be all out because there was no way one more person could be in there, out popped another one. :)

So, as I was saying, we had planned to purchase another truck next year sometime after we had saved up cash. But now we were looking at $1400 in repairs, at least. To a 15-year-old truck that didn't fit us that well and that we didn't really want anymore.

Okay, we give up!

We went shopping Monday night to look at some different trucks and happened to find a 2007 quad cab (4 doors!) with only 17,000 miles! Now that we've accepted that we'll have another loan, I'm excited about this. It would have been nice if we could have had more cash saved up so we could continue to say we're debt-free but that's okay. We'll pay it off as soon as we can and in the meantime, I will love opening the back door for the kids to climb in.

Write those goals down!

2010-02-12T23:39:00.002-05:00

I have heard that said so many times - write down your goals. Why don't I do this? I love to plan and think about goals. I love using pen and paper. Why do I make lists and not specific goals? I think part of it is fear of not achieving those goals. I also tend to over-analyze so I'll try to not get off topic here.

The last couple of weeks, I have worried that maybe I wasn't doing enough with Tori. Maybe she wasn't being pushed enough or that I wasn't working with her enough. There were times that she would ask a question, like how to read the number "173" and I would get so upset - how does she not know this already???

But today, it hit me just how far she's come. She's getting 10 out of 10 on all her spelling tests - and spelling wasn't her strong subject at the beginning of the year. It took a long time for her to learn how to read and spelling just didn't come naturally. Now she's reading more on her own and starting to remember how the letters go together.

Her math today was on comparing numbers. At first glance, I thought it'd be a piece of cake for her - just putting 4 numbers in order from least to greatest - like 203, 378, 410, and 821. Then I looked at a problem further down and it was a little more challenging - like 45, 54, 301, 310. I checked back a couple minutes later and she was getting them all right. So, she does understand place value. Whew.

I realized tonight that at the beginning of the year, I thought about what I wanted each of my kids to achieve this year. But I never wrote it down. I need to do that and look at the list every so often to remind myself of where we're going, to know what direction to take. I'm off to find a notebook now.

They're 'free!

2010-02-06T23:46:00.002-05:00

For those of you who may not speak toddler, that's "three". Rachel and Owen celebrated their third birthday on Tuesday. The pictures are from their party last Saturday. I've accepted that I will never win "Mother of the Year" for birthday parties or cakes. It's usually a low-key family event with a regular cake. They carried the cake mix and frosting around after I bought them, knowing it was for them and feeling special so I'm okay with that.

Continuing with the John Deere theme from Christmas

Rachel is definitely all-girl

How can so much cuteness be in one picture?

The struggle for independence has already begun. I know I would not want them to stay babies forever but this in-between stage is hard. It's just easier sometimes to do things for them instead of letting them learn to do it for themselves. It takes patience to explain and wait for them and let them make mistakes. But that's how we learn, right?

I have been thinking about success lately and how we define it. Success is not always about prospering. It's not always about things turning out. Sometimes we succeed when we try something that fails and we realize how "not" to do it. As long as we learn from that mistake, then I think that's how we succeed. I know these things have been said before (really, there are very few original thoughts anymore) but sometimes you don't realize the truth of an idea until you've experienced it. Sometimes you feel like a failure but as you look back over your experience and realize how you've grown and matured and understand more now, you realize that the mistake wasn't worthless. That it's only worthless if you continue to beat yourself up over it and never move forward.

That might be a bit heavy for a three-year-old to understand. But it's good for me to remember as I let them slowly and painfully try to do things on their own and let them make mistakes.

Creating a new habit

2010-01-28T23:38:00.003-05:00

I have successfully ran 3 times a week this year. I am finding that it works best if I run once during the weekend and then I only have to get up twice during the week. The treadmill is not as torturous as it used to be and I'm finding it easier to get out of bed. I'd love to see some tangible evidence that this is good for me but I do feel better and I like feeling muscles in my legs. Last year I didn't start running until mid-March and then was able to run 5 miles by the end of September. I'm excited to have a head start this year.

I firmly believe that I can double the distance I run on the treadmill if I run outside with a friend. That clock on the treadmill is my nemesis. I start out thinking, "I'll run 25 minutes today. I should be able to do that." After about 10 minutes and 100 times of looking at that darn clock, I start thinking, "You know, 10 minutes is better than nothing." Then I have to start playing mind games with myself and promise myself "just 5 more minutes" and then 5 minutes after that. Lucky for me, I'm easily fooled and keep believing my promises.

Sunday afternoons

2010-01-24T23:00:00.003-05:00

When I was growing up, Sunday afternoons were sacred times. I think even before my dad was a pastor, they were for rest and relaxation. My dad doesn't usually get into football games so the tv wasn't usually on. I remember reading the Sunday ads and falling asleep on the couch just about every week.

Some traditions are worth continuing. I love Sunday afternoon naps. I don't always take one anymore. Sometimes I am out shopping or sometimes I decide to read instead. Today, I decided I wanted a nap. I slept for 1 1/2 hours. And I slept hard. It was the kind where you wake up with a little drool on your pillow and your eyes feel so heavy, you can barely keep them open long enough to look at the clock. The kind where it takes you a minute to figure out where you are and why it's so bright outside. The kind where you sometimes feel a bit dazed and confused for the rest of the day.

Today, I woke up from my nap and realized it would be a good time to run. I have been trying to exercise at least 3 times a week. If I run on Saturday or Sunday, then I only have to get up 2 more times during the week and I feel more like I'm setting myself up for success. I went downstairs to our treadmill and cranked up my ipod and ran. And also yelled at Owen to not throw basketballs at me while I was running. It was invigorating and energizing and after I showered, I was ready to face the rest of the day and felt very clear-headed.

I love Sunday afternoons.

All by myself

2010-01-22T15:29:00.003-05:00

I have had the luxury of being in my house by myself the last couple of days. Thursday morning I met my parents half way between their house and mine and they took the kids home with them. I came back here and did a little cleaning and then went out for lunch with Josh. When I got back home, I decided to deep-clean the fridge. The radio was playing, there were no interruptions, no need to hurry and get done before naptime. After that, I did some shopping and baking. Josh came home for supper and then he left to teach a college class and I was on my own again.

Today has been similar. I've done some cleaning, a little shopping and then just enjoyed time on my own. It's been such a nice break and so relaxing. I've watched a couple of movies, lounged around in bed this morning, read a little and gotten a few projects done. It doesn't take long to clean when there isn't anyone here getting things out.

And as wonderful as it's been, it's helped me appreciate my normal life. I miss my kids and our normal daily routine!

Tonight, Josh and I are going out. Tomorrow we'll sleep in and leisurely get ready. And then we'll go bring our kids home. Until then, I'll enjoy the quiet.

Big green tractor

2010-01-13T23:12:00.004-05:00

This was a John Deere Christmas for Owen. I need to take a picture of him with all his John Deere gifts - he is running a large farm co-op based on the number of tractors and machinery he has now! The biggest surprise was the battery-powered rider from my parents.

I don't know if you can tell from this picture, but he really wanted to see how much power this baby had. He kept pushing on it and spinning the tires until my dad started to get worried that maybe he'd wear a hole through the carpet. The tractor was then taken outside and Owen got to see how it worked in the snow.

It's not really built for snow, as it turns out. It didn't bother Owen at all but apparently it gets stuck pretty easily and then someone needs to give it a nudge to get it going. We're just going to wait until its warmer out.

My parents brought it down last weekend (wouldn't fit in the back of our mini-van - go figure) and Owen saw it in our garage -I think he had forgotten about it. He wanted to ride it, of course, and was told he could ride it in the summer. How do you help an almost 3-year-old understand when that is, exactly?

Josh wondered if we should put it in the basement but I discouraged it. Our basement is not that big to begin with and is quite full of stuff. Tori has her Barbie house down there and I think she'd get upset if he ran into her while she was playing. And he most certainly would. Brendan's basketball arcade game is down there and I don't think he'd be pleased to have Owen ramming into him while he's trying to make a shot. Rachel would probably not even venture down to the basement just to be on the safe side. When the snow and ice melt from our driveway, we'll get it out for him.

Until then, he'll just ask about summer whenever he sees it.

Making cookies

2010-01-11T22:22:00.005-05:00

I just had Rachel and Owen decorate one cookie before naptime and then let Brendan and Tori do the rest after Rachel and Owen had gone upstairs. They did a great job of decorating and even putting sprinkles on. I decided to keep it simple and just use white frosting. There were lots of colorful sprinkles so the cookies still looked pretty.

Brendan shows off the finished product. I was trying to get a picture of each one frosting but he was too fast.

Look at how serious he is! Frosting cookies is not a joking matter for Owen.

Tori got right up to the edges so there were very few parts of cookie that were left unfrosted.

Rachel had to be encouraged to add more frosting - she really just wanted to get to the sprinkles.

I noticed a big difference in our family from last year to this year. Last year I had two kids and two babies. This year I had 4 kids. It is so much easier to do things with 4 kids! We planned a lot more family activities and it was so nice to be able to include everyone. Rachel and Owen have grown up in a lot of ways.

Soon after their 1st birthday, Josh and I went on a weekend trip with Brendan and Tori to an indoor water park in Frankenmuth. A few months later, we did another short trip to Chicago with just Brendan and Tori. I had thought about doing something like that again but really didn't like the idea of not taking Rachel and Owen. When they were 1, it didn't bother me. But now, I'm ready for our whole family to do things together, not just part of our family. Lots of fun times ahead!

I'm learning

2010-01-06T23:07:00.002-05:00

I'm learning to add things to our homeschool schedule slowly. In the past, I would get a brilliant idea and then surprise my kids with it the next day and wonder why they were resistant. Now, I understand them a little more and have learned to slowly acclimate them to change.

I talked to a fellow homeschooler yesterday and asked her what she did for writing. I've been torn about writing because it is not something Brendan enjoys. He never knows what to write and gets frustrated when he tries to write a story for an assignment. We have gone through many tears and struggles over this the past few years. Another friend said that children don't need to write creative stories until they're older and have more experiences to draw from. Not that it's bad if they do - some kids are more creative than others. But that I shouldn't worry if he's not writing right now.

So I decided to not do any writing at the beginning of this year. We settled into our routine and things have been going well. Brendan has written a few stories on his own, just for fun, with no pressure for me. I was happy to see him do that and it gave us a chance to talk about punctuation and paragraphs and all that good stuff.

I wanted to start some kind of writing but wasn't sure what or how. My fellow homeschool friend said that her daughter has to write a sentence for each of her spelling words. I thought that sounded like a good idea (and cheap, too - no extra curriculum to buy!) so I thought I'd have Tori do the same thing and have Brendan write a short story with his spelling words. But this time, instead of just telling them about my great idea, I realized that they might be overwhelmed with this new assignment so I decided to start out slow.

Brendan has 20 spelling words every week. I had him choose 10 and write a sentence for each one. (At first he misunderstood and thought he had to fit all 10 in one sentence and wasn't sure he could do it.) Then I had Tori pick 5 out of her 10 and write a sentence for those. The assignment went smoothly and I was impressed with how much teaching I could do just with that extra assignment. Tori was spelling more words on her own and remembering to capitalize the beginning of the sentence and had to figure out the punctuation for the end. Brendan had fun coming up with some creative sentences and writing them out neatly.

I love it when a plan comes together.

My favorite people

2010-01-04T22:44:00.003-05:00

Last October, my friend lidija (of LAF Lines - see blog on side) did a photo session with my kids.

Rachel was clingy and didn't want to leave my side. Owen wanted to splash in puddles. Tori and Brendan kept looking away. But none of that mattered.

She captured my kids personalities. She captured them being themselves instead of faking a smile. When I look back on these pictures years from now, I will remember what I loved most about each of my children at this time in their life. And that is truly priceless.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T00:08:00.003-05:00

It's funny how much that feels like a clean slate to me. It's just another day but it feels like so much more. I like clean slates. I like the feeling of starting fresh with no past failures weighing me down. I could really delve into some Biblical truths but it's late and I don't want to attempt that depth right now.

With this beautiful clean slate feeling, I want to start the year off right. Here are some resolutions in no particular order:

- household: I want to keep the budget up-to-date, be more consistent with sales and coupons, and set up a routine for cleaning the house. It's all about creating habits.

- family: I want to plan more family time whether it's a weekend vacation or a game night.

- school: I want to finish the year strong and not let my laziness get the best of me. I want to map out the rest of the year (just a basic outline) so I can see where we are and what we need to do to finish.

- personal: I want to read 4 non-fiction books that cause me to think and grow as a wife, mother, friend and follower of Christ. Interesting that I just wrote this off the top of my head and I randomly picked 4 books (figuring 1 every 3 months was manageable) and also came up with 4 relationships in my life. Maybe one book for each relationship? Although I think anything I read about being a follower of Christ will have a positive affect on all relationships so we'll see how this plays out.

There are also specific fitness and financial goals that I am thinking about but haven't really nailed down the specifics yet. I want to challenge myself but also keep them attainable. And even though I joked about it before, going to bed earlier is actually a goal! Only for school days though.

And now, off to bed with a light heart and a clean slate.

The most awesome concert ever

2009-12-31T21:45:00.004-05:00

And I have pictures! I love this little camera. I so wish I had it for the David Cook concert I went to earlier. There is always next time! Anyways, Josh and I went to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert with Josh's sister and husband last Sunday. We had really good seats and I was able to take some great pics and videos. I really love everything about this band. I love the variety of music they play - classic carols, songs they've written, beethoven, and much more. I love the mix of orchestra with the electric guitar and electric violin. Just amazing.

The holidays

2009-12-29T00:01:00.002-05:00

Our holiday celebrations are now over. This year was the first year we celebrated Christmas in our home on the actual date. Every other year we've celebrated early in our own home so we could come up here for our family Christmases. It hasn't bothered me and I can't say I prefer one way to the other. We still have time with just our family and we still get to visit with our extended families and that's what is important to me. Really, the only thing that changed was the location of our Christmas eve church service.

The past few days have been busy but a good kind of busy. Friday we had our own family Christmas and then packed up to visit family for a few days. Saturday morning was my family Christmas. Sunday we went to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert with Josh's sister and her husband. I absolutely love them. This is the 5th time I've seen them in concert and I don't think it will ever get old. It was also just fun to have a night out. Monday was Josh's family's Christmas.

The only negative in all these fun get-togethers is that Rachel has gotten a cold. She woke up early Sunday morning with a croupy cough. After running a hot shower to let her sit in the steam and then going outside for a minute, she was breathing easier. She seemed better on Sunday but had a rough day today. We were planning to go home on Wednesday but I suppose that may change if she appears to need to see the doctor. I hope she's feeling better for her sake but it'd also be nice to have nothing planned for tomorrow and just be able to sit around. I'm not ready to pack everything up and head home just yet.

The New Year will be here soon and I am thinking about some resolutions. I am NOT resolving to read any certain books. If I like a book, I will read it. If I don't, then reading it is absolute torture. Reading has always been an escape for me and one of the most enjoyable ways to spend my time. I don't want it to become work. At the same time, I do want to read more than fluff. I want to read things that challenge me and make me grow. I think I could resolve to read a certain number of non-fiction books. I like that idea. That way, I still have control over which ones but if something is boring me to tears, I have the freedom to drop it and pick another one and not feel like a failure.

I am off to spend a few minutes before bed reading. I doubt that I will be resolving to go to bed earlier this next year.

Running . . . but not getting anywhere

2009-12-18T15:59:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had a dream where you are trying to run away but your legs just won't move? It's like in the cartoons when they jump up and their legs are going but they're still in the same spot. I have felt like that with our finances lately.

We are doing all the right things. We have paid off all debt except our mortgage. I know that's huge. I know it's a big, important step. But we feel very stuck.

We have been working on building up our emergency fund since September. We have mastered - okay, maybe that's too strong of a word - we have gotten really good at budgeting. We've eaten out less and tried to cut back in a lot of ways. We're naming every single dollar that comes in and telling it where it's going.

But those darn emergencies keep happening and we're hitting a wall.

I have been told this is normal. I have been told that as soon as you say out loud, "We're not going into debt again!" that you will be tested. After having to buy a new van a month after paying off our home equity loan, I do believe this. But 4 months of testing is a little much, isn't it? It's hard to keep one's focus when one doesn't seem to be gaining any forward momentum.

I have also heard that there will come a point when you will shoot past the wall and gain momentum in your financial journey that you never thought possible.

I'm ready. Let's go. Maybe in January?

Holiday Break

2009-12-17T11:22:00.003-05:00

I was going to push through and do 3 days of school next week. I knew we could cover a full week's worth of work in 3 days and figured one week and two days off would be more than enough. Then the kids asked about making Christmas cookies and I was looking at our schedule wondering when would be a good time to do that. And I decided that there was absolutely nothing wrong with taking two full weeks off of school.

I told the kids on Monday that this was our last week of school before Christmas break and they thought they knew that already. Apparently, they had been counting on that. I explained that I had originally been planning to do school next week until Wednesday but decided to take the days off and do some other things instead. Of course, they immediately wanted to know what "other things" we'd be doing. I said making Christmas cookies and chocolate-covered pretzels and some other treats and the cheers were immediate. Tori exclaimed, "That is an excellent idea!"

I thought so, too. And the closer we get to our last day, the more sure I am of that decision.

Twin Chatter

2009-12-09T23:58:00.002-05:00

Rachel and Owen are doing more role-playing lately and let me tell you, it is quite entertaining. In this picture, they were feeding their babies, complete with bibs. They will carry their babies upstairs for naptime or bedtime. The other day, they took them up and then brought them right back down because, as Rachel explained, "Baby don't feel good - she need medicine."

The next day, ironically, Rachel woke up not feeling good so I was taking her temperature. I always have them sit on my lap and take one arm out of the sleeve and then take their temperature under their arm. After I was done and determined she had no fever, she was sitting on the couch, holding the thermometer. Owen walked in and apparently, Rachel was concerned for his health. She told him to sit on her lap and she would take his "tempin". He said no but did climb on the couch and sit next to her. He then proceeded to get one arm out through the top of his shirt and she turned the thermometer on and stuck it under his arm. When it beeped, she said he was all better. Then he realized he didn't know how to get his arm back in his shirt.

I look forward to what they will come up with next! And there is also a little trepidation there. Two minds can be so much more cleverer than one.